He was over at my house at 9:00 and then waited for three hours for my parents to go to sleep. Then when they were asleep we started kissing, and he went to third base, unstrapped my bra. then he said "I don't think we should do this anymore because I don't think we're in it for the same reasons, and I don't want to make you do anything that makes you feel bad." but he stayed at my house for another 2 hours even though he knew I had to work the next day. and was utterly exhausted. Why?
BACKGROUND INFORMATION. (if you want more details)
My friend says that he is completely out of my league, morally, intellectually, socially, physically, spiritually, financially and that he's only using me because he wants someone to make out with. She also told me that he hangs out with girls who don't like me. even though he claims he hasn't seen them in 4 year She says he would never date me because of the rumours and gossip about me. He claims that he doesn't believe any of the shit that they say about me. She says that he worships beautiful woman but beautiful woman don't like him, he claims he's not attracted to any of the attractive woman that he spends time with. I don't know who to believe?
There were rumours that I wanted to pour sulferic acid on another man's face, that I was a slut who mistakaned spiritual growth for sexual relationships, that I wanted to borrow money from drug dealers. and the list goes on and on! I asked him if he believed these rumours and he never said yes or no. just asked me what possessed me to bring it up and why I would ask him these weird questions. Then I was too embarrassed to get an answer from him. If he was using me for sex as my friend claims, he wouldn't care if all of those things were true right? Maybe he's shocked that I suggested, that he might think those things of me after kissing and making out.
All he was doing was trying to absolve himself of any further responsibility.
It sounds to me like he doesn't want more than sex from you, but he knows if he instigates a physical relationship then he'll be expected - at the very least - to behave differently towards you. For instance, in the past, if you had called him at a time he didn't feel like talking, he could just not pick up the phone. If he sleeps with you, suddenly he's an asshole if does that. So it's likely that he thinks you'll want more from him than he wants to give you, so he does the "right thing" by telling you that before it goes too far.
But really, he wanted you to say - "Oh, it's okay, let's do it anyway." So then, later, if you try to get more from him, he can say, "Hey, I told you so, you're the one who wanted to." and not feel guilty about it. That's probably why he stayed two more hours, because he was horny as hell by that point, and couldn't stop wanting to f***, but you had to be the one to say it's okay.
He's an evil genius, if you think about it, because either way, he did the "right thing" by not pushing further on his own, even though he did come over in the first place. He gave you an opportunity to say, "It won't make me feel bad, it's okay." But I'll bet he was upset you didn't say it.
So if you actually like this guy, and want more than a romp in the hay, then thank him for "being a gentleman" by not pushing you into something you might have regretted later. Then move on, because for whatever reasons, he feels the need to throw out a disclaimer saying he's not that interested in you beyond the physical.
Take him at his word. You'll just end up being hurt if you try to read into it differently and want more from him.
Also, there's an interesting psychological difference in the way that men and woman view sex. Men tend to think of it as a conquest; like they've made a gain of some sort, while woman tend to think of it as more of a giving. So a guy with a conscience won't want to feel like he's "taking" something from you, if he feels like you're being decieved in any way. (But that's why it's probably okay if you choose to give it after being made fully aware of the situation.)
He is playing games with you. I don't know what he is trying to accomplish but I know he is playing some kind of game because normal guys don't act that way. Truth be told it doesn't even matter what he is trying to accomplish, the fact that he is toying with you should tell you enough about him to kick his a$$ to the curb.
He was clearly waiting for you to say you wanted to do "this". I mean, do you really like this guy? Does he really like you? Cause if he said "we're not in it for the same reasons", maybe he was in it just to please himself.
If you both want a random hook-up, go for it. If you both want a relationship, go for it. But if you both don't know, just wait.
I think if these rumors are being spread, he doesn't know the real you.
What he means is that he wants a random hookup but I want a relationship.... and he thinks it's wrong for him to touch me when he knows I only allow it because I want a relationship. - 4 months ago
Answerer
At least he is decent enough to know when to stop. It'd be wrong to take advantage of you when he knows you're only allowing it cause it could lead to a relationship.
I don't really know what else to say :S - 4 months ago
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
asked 4 days ago
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