Ok, I always dream about a relationship, but when the chance has come along, I can't seem to let go of the power that one feels when you find out someone is interested. In short I basically drive the guys away and then blame them, like saying "well I guess he didn't like me enough if he's not going to try harder to make me his."
I REALIZE this is illogical because it makes sense someone would get tired of jumping through hoops, but I want to know if anyone else understands what I'm talking about, and if you do then why do you do it?
Reading this was like reading a story of my own life. I suffer as you do with the same issue. When I first start liking a guy and I find out he's interested- its like a switch turns on in my brain that tells me to run for my life- I end up pushing him away by being indifferent, acting like I don't care about him. Then when he starts moving on, I like you figured he must not have liked me that much. Its almost like I'm testing him to see if he would still be there for me and not hurt me. I did that to a guy for 8 years. He practically did everything but physically kiss my ass, he went above and beyond to prove he likes me- I did everything I could to turn him off- being bitchy, acting like I don't care about him when I clearly do. Fortunately for me, the guy is still interested in me. he still looks at me like he did when he was just 15, (he's 23) He's still waiting for me to get over my damn fear of being hurt. We still aren't together, but I've been blessed to have a guy hold out that long- most guys wouldn't nor should you exspect them too. My advice would be to start off slow by trusting a guy you like with little things. I was even terrified of having a guy give me a hug- I was that guarded, but if you find a guy who has proven himself trustworthy give him yourself slowly and your heart will ever so gently begin to open up :o)
your afraid of a commit period you blaming yourself for pushing the guy away is logical cuase in the end you do care and you need to stop that shit or you will always be single
Thanks but that doesn't exactly help me. obviously I know I need to stop it, isn't that part obvious or else why would I be asking this question? - 4 months ago
I think you have a touch of commitment phobia. I'm like you, it's easy to imagine stuff like that but when it actually happens it's hard to let yourself go to someone. You might have a fear that you aren't aware of, thinking that they might do something to hurt you, so you rather push them away than risk getting hurt! But I guess in due time you'll overcome that, you're still young so you have a lot to expierence!
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
asked 4 days ago
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