so I'm sitting here tonight and talking to a friend (female) and she is telling me about her smoking and stuff and she knows I would rather her not do it. I am going to disney world with her and her parents soon and I want to tell her exactly how I feel but I don't want to ruin the trip for her.
she also likes another guy and it hurts me drastically and I try to get over having these feelings for her and for some reason I almost get to that point. I know she has change a lot and won't be the same girl I knew and I will try to get enough courage to go out with another female and I get to thinking about her and it always happens like that. any advice on what I should do after the trip to disney with her and her parents?
Just go for it!. Being loyal is very good. Accept the fact that he likes another guy. Besides, maybe she has feelings for you too. But she denies it because she's afraid that you'll never like her.
Don't go on this trip. Bail out. Make something up. You're hung up on her, she doesn't love you, and you shouldn't be hanging out with her and her parents for days. It sounds miserable. She's not the only girl in the world, and she's not the only girl that you'll ever be able to connect with. It just feels like that now. Let her go. Her actions are telling you that's what she wants to do, so let her do it. All she's doing for you right now is holding you back.
Yes she knows how I feel about her I have told her before..... and she has changed in the part of she never use to drink that much now she drinks like every night (because of joining a college thing) she was always against smoking pot and never wanted to be around it and since joining this club in college she has smoked it (thats the smoking part in my questions) and other things like that - 4 months ago
Answerer
Then, the question is, what do you want to do?
If she knows how you feel and has done nothing, and she's become absorbed in this polluted world, what do you want to do?
Knowing that I think I can help. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
What I want to do is tell her that I don't like the way she has changed, she knows what I grew up with in my life and she isn't making it easy for me to cope with her new self. I want to tell her that I know people that started smoking pot every once in a while and now I know that they will smoke a tremendous amount of it in a two week span. and SOMETIMES I feel like telling her that when she finds herself to come talk to me otherwise just leave me alone - 4 months ago
Question Asker
But I can't do that to myself, she is the only person I have ever been able to open up to and tell her my feelings about her and tell her about what has happened in my past - 4 months ago
Answerer
If you've never told her you don't like the way she's changed, that's something you can tell her after the trip. It isn't an unreasonable thing to say.
Also, are you prepared to put the friendship on the line? - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Not really wanting to put it on the line, she means the world to me and I care so much about her. I'm just so confused about what I should do, cause I feel as if tell her she is going to make our friendship die.... but with most of her friends she has confrontations with she ends up trying to fix it which I have seen her do and tell me about it many times... so I mean I don't want to have the friendship go away but I want to tell her I don't like the way that she has changed - 4 months ago
Answerer
Ah, okay, I see the situation here. I've been in a similar situation that I royally screwed up. Given how you are now, you probably aren't in any situation to "help her" or whatever you want to call it. You may never be, these things take special talent.
It's also clear you won't jeopardize the friendship because she still serves a greater purpose for you, than you do for her. Which just reinforces that you aren't ready to help her.
With all this in mind, wouldn't you rather not say anything? - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Yes in a sense.... and its not that she serves a greater purpose for me, its just that feelings I get when I first saw her smile, first kissed her, held her hand, her telling me she loved me... holding hands under the covers at her dads so he wouldn't know anything was somewhat going on... but of course that was before joining this club and her "seeing me just as a friend" If you believe in true love and stuff I would have to say this is it. I mean I hate the things she is doing but I love her - 4 months ago
Answerer
Until you can bear the pain of risking the relationship, I'd keep quiet. You can say you wish she'd smoke and drink less, that shouldn't cause an issue, but definitely don't take it past that.
You clearly aren't ready to risk anything, and believe me, there isn't a thing wrong with that. Just learn to deal with the lesser of two evils, and someday maybe you'll be able to challenge her more. - 4 months ago
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
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