So there's this guy I like. I've liked him since February of this year. He's attractive, funny and he likes to flirt with me. Only I am one of those types of girls who are terrified to be in a relationship- I'm not even sure he was even hinting at that. But I used to see him every time I went to his job. He would always speak and try to make conversation, but I would be shy, smile and mumble a few words. My mom would be there to (we went in the car together to the store) and he would crack jokes with her too. So as time continued I started noticing his feelings for me and I panicked. When I panic. its more like I switch to bitch mode- as if to turn him off from me on purpose. (its more subconcious behaviour then anything) every time he saw me I would have that dont-speak to me look or be in a bad mood, but as soon as I left the store I was back to normal. sigh long story short- every time I come to the store now, he speaks but its not the same- I mean I never said anything mean to him, I guess it was just my demeanor. Last night I saw him at the store and when he first saw me, he was smiling and happy. but I switched into bitch/ irritated mode and was kinda "unfriendly" towards him, I didn't even smile- when he finished serving me, he left quickly and barely said goodbye. So I left the store, but decided to come back by myself for something. he was still there, I'm not sure if he saw me- but he was serving someone else and he seemed so annoyed (with them not me) - to the point where I started to question if I had made him mad? and if I did does that mean he still likes me?
You realize the question your asking isn't something anyone is gonna be able to answer for you because, well, we don't know what's going though your head when you do it XD.
Try this:
Imagine yourself in his position; he sees you as attractive, wants to go out with you but your shy about it. Judging by your actions, to him its pretty obvious your shy about it, but still he wants to go out with you. To me at least, it shows that he doesn't care if your shy or not, he still wants to try to be in a relationship with you. If HE doesn't care that your shy or not, he obviously believes in your power to overcome your shyness, and if he believes in you, doesn't care if your shy or not, then you have nothing to worry about! Hes already seen you at your worst, and still likes you for who you are regardless. Time to show him who you are at your best!
As for treating him bad;
I can relate a little.
There was once a time I liked a girl, (from the inside, not the outside =P) so I asked her out. I'll admit, I was nervous as f***. It didn't matter if she said yes or no in my mind, the main worry was I might screw it up. Turns out she said no. Didn't give me a reason when I asked her why not(probably not to hurt my feelings, which is a big no no).
After that she started being very quiet around me, maybe uncomfortable. I can understand that. So I gave her a few days, and the "uncomfortableness" started turning more and more hostile(Which hurts like HELL, coming from the person you like). I eventually asked why she was mad at me, she said "IM NOT MAD!" It got worse from there, and basically the moral of the story is, now I just see her as a bitch. It doesn't matter what was going though her head to me at the time, it went on for 1 month without explanation, I was plenty patient, but she just kept up. We haven't spoken over the summer at all, and I plan to play a little more offencively rather than defencively at school, when summer break is finished.
Moral: I would appologize to him if you think you hurt his feelings, that would have been the only way I would have forgiven her in my situation. So yeah.
What do you believe is the reason you are so scared to get into a relationship? Are you afraid that if you get into a relationship with him then that is it? Are you afraid that the search for "Mr. Right" is all over? Are you afraid that there might be something better out there and you are worried you will miss it?
What do you see when you picture yourself in a relationship with him?
I think my problem stems from a lot of insecurities especially not being pretty enough to keep his attention or feeling like I'm not good enough for him. I'm not scared of sharing my life with just one person, I'm not the type who would feels"trapped" by being in a relationship, in fact I'm quite the opposite, being in a loving relationship with one guy is what I would love to have yet... well as you have read above, I haven't quite figured out how to let go of my fears and embrace love - 4 months ago
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
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