I understand they probably don't want be told they look fat when they are pregnant or anything like that, but I personally kind of like they way pregnant woman look (I know that probably sounds really weird) not that I prefer it over normal look, I just don't have any problems with it. Well anyways I had a girlfriend that told me I never should have said anything to her about talking to someone else about a problem I had (I was very depressed about something) but I was uncertain about telling her she asked me and I was kind of worried what it would make her think about me if I told her, I was reluctant to tell her so I was like "I don't really want to say right now" then she accused me of doing it for attention and called me some names and I got upset left and talked to someone else because I was hurt by what she'd done and said and needed release so I told someone that I'd been friends with a short while, I felt much better. But I then remebered that she'd told me that she felt very strongly about me only sharing stuff like that with her, so I decided that I would come clean with her and tell her that I screwed up and apologize (it was sincere I truly was/am sorry I didn't just tell her because I finally realized how much she cared after that) so then she flipped out on me and stopped talking to me for about a month and told me I should have just told her, and she also said that I shouldn't of told her that I told someone else and we would have been alright O.o I'm an honest guy and if I'm not trying my best to be honest and let her know everything and anything I think she should know or might want to know I feel terrible. So my question is, should I never have told her that I talked to someone else, should I have held back from her or even lied, she told me even if I lied to her about it, it would have been better.
she may be mad that you told her the truth because she trusted u, any girl would be crushed if she found out that she couldn't trst the guy she cares for the most. now that you have been honest all you can do is wait and hope that she forgives u. no it wouldn't have been better if you had lied but I think she wouldn't have blown up at you if you had not hid it from her in the beginning.
as women with feelings we want our guys to be able to confide in us so that we can fiz any problems that arise so that we can keep the relationship afloat. I know sharing is a foreign concept to some men but working through adversity with the one you love means everything. I hope that she will forgive you and you can both become stronger together.
Well, I have told her a lot, that was the only thing that I didn't tell her, and I've told her a lot of things I wouldn't dare tell anyone else, it wasn't thaat I didn't trust her, it was because I was worried what it might make her think about me. Her opinion of me means more than anyone's perception of me in the whole world. I'd share anything with her, but I was really worried that telling her what it was might change the way she looked at me. - 4 months ago
Answerer
I worry about that too but its better to say it anyway instead of letting it eat away at u. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Maybe you're right, but as a guy it's hard enough just talking about my "feelings" to someone, even though I'm a sensative guy it's still not something I'm completely comfortable with. - 4 months ago
Answerer
Try explaining that....i had a guy that explained to me and it really made me think differently about how men deal with emotions. I now don't expect as much mushy feelings from them all the time, just once in a while. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Well that's not to say I won't or don't prefer cuddling over sex. And writing poetry and all that I'll still come out with my emotions more than most guys... but it's just hard, ok I'll try my best to explain. From a guy perspective we are supposed to be the provider and protector emotions to us show as weakness, I mean would you take some big body builder seriously if he were flambount and swivled his hips when he walked? I bet you'd laugh, to us it's part of being a womans armor and weapon. - 4 months ago
No, lying is a cowardly act , and I hate it! (most girls do) If you really care, you should have told her this (whatever it was) whenever it happened. The thing is, if you talked to someone else before her, I don't understand why she got upset about it. If you spoke to your best mate and he heard you out and tried to help you, it just proves you've got a great bond with him, not that your girlfriend is completely cut off from everything and that you don't really care. It just sounds like she's a little insecure.that's all.
Little white lies are necessary, although I love it when a guy tells me I look awful (when I clearly know I don't) and then he starts teasing me, and readjusting my hair.it's fun to watch him so excited! hehe xD
She got mad because as she put it "that was our thing" she and I had never openly talked to anyone like that before I honestly didn't know that it would have been such a big deal to talk to someone else about things; up until she told me and I forgot and told someone. ANd I'm sure she is insecure, I think the only thing that keeps her from telling me she loves me is that she's affraid to admit it. She's said before that falling in love scares her because the idea of it makes her feel weak. - 4 months ago
f*** yea I love being lied to (not big lies) come on a little lie can take you a long way. I love being told I look beautiful when wearing sweats and a tank top its boost my sel estem. and if you HAVE to lie to boost my self estem go ahead
I don't need to lie about that, you're gorgeous, only kidding I don't know you, but the girl I'm into is gorgeous and very cute, just looking at her makes me smile, talking to her makes me feel great to, so I personally hate liying and try my best not to lie, unless I feel like I have to, even then I tend to feel really bad about it. - 4 months ago
Answerer
Think about it though. if a girk asks you " do I look at in these jjeans" are you going to say yes you do and have her feel weird and shy that her gut is going to be showing or are you going to tell her no you look nice and have her be more comfortable with you - 4 months ago
Question Asker
That might be a good example except most stuff like that doesn't really affect me I mean even if I have a girl with a muffin top I'm gonna think she's ddead smexy... yes smexy - 4 months ago
Lol, well according to the poll results it is looking like just oyu (yes that's a pun on your name) sorry I know I have a lame sense of humor, but I am glad that at least one person wants the truth. - 4 months ago
Sometimes its ok to talk to someone else. Although it's not good or healthy to do it all the time. When me and my husband have an arguement, or one of us did something to piss the other off, sometimes we talk to someone else first to get it out of our system. That way when we talk to the other, we're not as heated anymore. It doesn't happen very often, and like I said it's not good to talk to other people all the time. But sometimes it can save you in the long run.
She sounds extremely selfish and possessive. you must REALLY like her. lol. Well I think respect is something you earn. and if she hasn't given you any reason to respect her wishes which she hasn't, there no reason for you to jeapordize your mental and emotional well being so that she can feel satisfied knowing that you are confiding in her and only her when she's obviously not responding to you. I don't know the rest of the story. but she doesn't sound like a very good girlfriend. at all. I'd leave her.
I'm curious which idiot actually thought that you screwed up by going against your girlfriend. What a possessive nut case. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Well, she can be really awesome and sweet and just plain fun at times... and actually she did stop saying something I asked her not to because it made me feel like crap (it's not something bad like you might think) it was "ic ic" when I was telling her something it just made me feel like she wasn't paying attention and didn't care. I've gotten over her saying that now and I've told her, it was a real task getting her to stop saying that and start saying something else (I know it sounds horrible) - 4 months ago
Her being upset about you telling her the truth is pretty contradictory. Not only that but I get a sense of her needing/wanting the control which is a bit unsettling. You speaking to other people about your problems is your perogative. You feeling terrible about it makes it seem as though you are sorry because you have upset her. Is she controlling in other ways?
I don't want to say yes... but yes I believe she is, everything seems to have to be me first, even when I told her I had a crush on her, I kept jokingly saying I'd cyber her she didn't say anything she got mad at me, but eventually she told me it was because she actually wanted me to cyber with her, then we didn't finish or do it again (she had to go to bed because she was tired and had to do stuff the next day) I don't know why she never let me finish or anything I mean she said I was good and - 4 months ago
Question Asker
And asked me if it was ok if she stoped saying what she'd do to me so she could just read what I'd do to her... she told me more than once I was good but she never let me pick back up where we left off or do it again and I haven't a clue why. And I don't know she just doesn't seem like she'll let me even talk to her unless she wants me to, it feels a little one sided, sorry for whining, but I'm trying to answer your question as best I can. - 4 months ago
Answerer
She doesn't let you finish because it's just another way for her to control you. I would honestly let this girl go. She is sounding worse and worse. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
=/ I don't think I can, she has my heart I've tried more than once to let her go. And in the begining she was super sweet to me and when she found out on of my friends was angry at her she cried and told me how she didn't want anyone to hate her and later posted something in her blog about how she wanted all of my friends to like her, it broke my heart. She was extremely sweet, but she's a little immature and I think a little controling. - 4 months ago
Answerer
A little immature? Yes she is very immature. She has your heart? Have you met her in person? Have you gone on actual dates with one another? - 4 months ago
Question Asker
No, but the things she's said and the time we've spent together I can't really put it into words, I've been talking to her and stuff for awhile now, and I know what you're getting at, but when she's in a good mood and talking to me I couldn't be any happier. She also seems to be a lot like me. I hope I didn't make her sound like a horrible person because she can be very sweet and such. She just needs to grow up and I know part of why she can be mean and stuff. - 4 months ago
Answerer
I'm sure she has a sweet side to her. And as long as you are ok with this irrational behavior than it will work. Just as long as it doesn't get to the point where you aren't taking care of yourself (emotionally, physically...etc). Honestly, you deserve someone that won't freak out on you if you talk to another person about YOUR own problems. - 4 months ago
Question Asker
Thank you, and I do understand where you are coming from, even though she can get me completely depressed or extremely angry she can also make me feel the happiest I've been in my life. - 4 months ago
You should have told her the truth right away. Trying to weasel out of it only made her angrier, as you can see.
She may have said it would have been better to lie, but that applies ONLY if she never found out, and it sounds like she found out. Once that was clear you should not have tried to dodge the issue.
THe results speak for themselves.
In a way, she's right since this hopeless semi-denial naturally just made her mad. AN outright lie would probably not have made her so angry RIGHT AWAY, but she would have been even MORE angry once she found out.
The truth is always better between friends, if you want to stay friends! Sure she would have been mad, but probably not this mad, and she would have known she could trust you in the future to admit if you made a mistake.
Now, you see, she feels she can never really trust what you say!
Women (like your ex) actively train us to lie to them. They don't want the truth, they want fantasy. Then they wonder later why it turns out all guys are lying to them. Don't worry. It's frustrating right now, but eventually it will be effortless and the only conundrum you will have is that you'll wish you could find a girl worth respecting. By their mid to late 20's a few girls will start to grow up a little. They might actually appreciate the truth. If she's under 25, use her, abuse her, and lie to her. It's most likely exactly what she wants. Eventually you'll find a girl that deserves better. Until then, don't feel bad about doing what they're training you to do.
Well, I hate to tell you this but I CAN'T lie or treat someone like crap unless I hate them and even then I feel bad; but you might be right I've yet to meet a girl under 20 that is mature and when they say they want a nice guy they really want one, I have been mean on occasions to get her to talk to me about a problem we're having, I really don't like to be mean, it hurts me to be mean. But if I'm just being nice all the time the problem or problems won't be talked about and fixed. I hate it =/ - 4 months ago
in a relationship, communication is the best key. you loved that girl the way she is, don't expect her to change according to ur needs. you knew how she was before you got together. if she changes to the better on her own thas great, but you can't expect her to change over night about the way she feels or how she acts. so you did the thing, now you just gotta deal with it.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 4 months ago
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 4 months ago
