I have been dating this guy for about a year and we have had habits of "separating" and getting back together. We have argued a lot and I said some terrible things to him only in retaliation of what he says to me first. He apologizes then I apologize and things are okay for a while but then we end up right back in the situation again. He tells me one minute he puts it behind him and that everything is okay but then minutes later he says he can't put it behind him and that it still bothers him and he can't be with me, He tells me he wants to make things work yesterday and then he tells me that he just wants to be best friends, but still have the romantic interest and be sensual and still have sex but he says its not a friends with benefits relationship. Then tells me that he's still interested in me, but then he says there's no way of us getting back together and there is no chance but he's not officially breaking up with me and he doesn't want to leave me alone. I apologize for everything and I tell him that things will change but he tells me "how do I know that?" I don't know what to do I want to make things work with him but I feel so confused because of what he says. What should I do? I am totally confused. We both apologize for what we both said and he gets mad at me when I call him to try to make things right. He feels as though he's being disrespectful and I am not trying to be, I'm lost. So lost. I want to make things work and I have told him that and he doesn't tell me that but I think he feels different because he says he doesn't want to be officially over. What should I do
He sounds just as lost as you. I will say that you should take intiative on your side of this, and tell him that YOU want to take time apart. When he asks about being friends, or partners, or whatever, just tell him "No, I mean away from each other in every sense of the word."
Just get away from him for awhile, maybe several months. In that time, he'll either get the program together, or he'll find someone else. But one thing is for sure, this back and forth, New York minute nonsense is only going to drive you crazy trying to peice together. And since he's bringing it up, it should be his job. He's either playing a game or he's going through growing pains that he can't make sense of. Either way both of you need to take a time out.
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