Ladies, why are there so many of you single?

As a newly single female, I have to agree. Guys can be jerks and it makes all the good guys look bad. I know every girl says "I want a good guy, I'm done with the bad boy types." I say BS! I'm just going to tell you right now that I've seen MANY a good guy come along, but the ladies went for the bad boy. The good guy came off as he didn't like them because he was shy/didn't screw them on the fifth date or he was so nice that he came off as overbearing, "let a girl have a little independence, I can pull out my own chair! Gosh, that is SO annoying!" Yes, actual quote from a girl who wanted a good guy! So, this makes the good guys more cautious and less likely to ask the next girl out because they got dumped OR they start being a little less nice each time, etc. Hence why there aren't many good guys anymore. Ladies, sorry, but some of us are to blame for the "no more good guy" issue which has led to the "fine women who are unattached phenomena."

Also, completely unrelated to men, some women are just career focused and then will settle down. I have always been career oriented and my ex-husband hated that fact. I am young and want to get as far as I want while I can. (Let me note, this was not why we split, it was his fault, he fell in love with his girl BFF he's had for 15 yrs.) Like me now, I'm unattached an pursuing a medical degree. I'm not going to get serious with anyone until I'm finished and settled into medicine. Relationships complicate things for women more so than men, so It's easier just not to have them while pursuing goals/dreams!

Because men are like parking stalls. All the good ones are taken, and all the rest are for the ones with "special needs" signs on them...

Most of us are unapproachable?

If you hang around with friends alot, guys don't want to make their move because they hate rejection in general-so a crowd is going to be a huge fear.


That's just my perspective. |3

Well women and men are different, and I think as our society changes and the way people think changes... those differences have widened when it comes to relationship values... it's also difficult to be in the optimal conditions to find a partner (clubs and bars, no thank you! horny freaks, horny creeps, and the odd mid-life crisis) and therefore you see things like dating sites being hugely popular.

There are little boundaries, little respect, and female self-esteems are being destroyed constantly. Women are scared and insecure about the standards men have for them these days, look at the questions girls ask guys here, so they can fine-tune themselves into the drone-like daydream that the media brainwashes men to believe as perfection.

Also... what ever happened to men being gentlemen and opening doors and showing girls they care and waiting to have sex (at least a little bit like come on, jack off, and blue balls is not an existing disease) and all that jazz... yes, it was too much, but now it's way too little! I'm all for equality but there are certain ways men can be good to women and ways for women to be good to men and it works evens out in the end. People just use that as an excuse not to expend energy. I wanna smack em.

Women just feel undervalued and like sex objects and feel men aren't as serious about life and the long term as they are and it's extremely frustrating and disheartening. This is how all the single women in my life feel. I've dated (as in a couple dates because I couldn't tolerate them too long) about16 (17?) arseholes before I ever found what by all appearances is a straight forward down to earth decent guy. Wish me luck!

I feel you... I know gals who really wants to be in a relationship but some said they are afraid [of some things such as BAD breakups after long commintment.] , they are not ready, or not settled. Chicks needs to be SETTLED and have a perm. job. get ya what I'm saying? a gal who is struggling while looking for a job... she shouldn't be in a relationship bec she doesn't have MONEY. That's another thing to think about. No matter how much chicks really want to be in a relationship or find out who is that gorgeous guy across the room and hope for that guy will ask him out; [by the way, chicks CAN ask guys out! wtf! ] they are NOT ready!

Well I guess you can say because just some guys are straight up assholes. lol jk not all men are. And no it isn't cause we lack in the good look department I would have to say some are scared of comitment also some girls can be too picky in what they want in a guy like perfection qualities others are scared of gettin hurt probably because of a past relationship that didn't go soo well. Also because a good guy is hard to find now in days.

I must say
I'am single for
the moment...
I don't lack looks
or anything, but geez,
most guys now a days
tend to be jerks! what happened
to the gentlemens? Personally,
I'am single, because I haven't yet encountered
with any guy whom is respectful, well-educated,
polite, and mature.
Plus, girls now a days are more focused on getting
a higher education, pursuing their goals, "most girls don't
want to waste their valuable time on a relationship that is not going anywhere"

In my personal experience:

people are generally afraid to approach goodlooking women. The guys who do approach usually have enormous amounts of swagger [i.e. turn out to be arrogant/over-confident jerks].

Well, guys can most DEFF be serious assholes and it's better to just not get into deep relationships with them because you know that they're gonna screw you over eventually...

But personally, I hate commitment...I'd rather be talking to a bunch of guys that like me (I don't necessarily like them too) than just be stuck with just one...

If that makes me a bad person, f*ck it...I guess I'm gonna have to be a bad chick.




But hopefully, I'll stop wanting the guys that are OBVIOUSLY wrong for me and find a guy that forreal cares about me and not whether if I'll have sex with him or not.

Well, maybe it is because so many men are useless jerks that we are sick of getting hurt and wasting our time and enegry on losers!

I haven't been in a real relationship for a few years because I'd never wanted one and now that I do I just haven't found the right one. I'm 20, and I'm too young to settle for someone but I'm too old to waste my time either. When I find the right one I feel like it'll just happen. Until then, I'll stay unattached and free.

The men we want to come up to us do not and women are taught that they are not supposed to go up to men. I've experienced years of being single at a time. Why was I:

1. Maybe the wrong guys coming up to me, because I didn't want any of them.
2. I had been hurt before and thought I wasn't good enough to have a boyfriend. (low self esteem)
3. I got used to liking being single. I can do what I want when I want to. There are no arguments, explanations, etc.
4. I didn't go out often, because my friends are married.
5. I didn't want to not feel in control of my emotions again about someone.
6. I got afraid to tell someone I liked them if I liked them for fear of them running away (goes back to being hurt before).
7. I was afraid I'd go after another commitment phobic guy that thinks that even calling a relationship "dating" leads ultimately to marriage.

I'm sure there are a few more reasons, but the above are the top 7.

We are probably clingy or giving it up too soon to a guy we just meet then he;s gone cause we gave up our goodies too soon before he can get to know us. Single cause we end up choosing the same wrong guys all the time cause we are desperate for love.

I have kinda low self esteem so I guess dating scares me

everyone at work thinks I'm gorgeous and they tease me asking who my boyfriend is.who am I dating, all the male customers hit on me and flirt with me and tell me I'm one fine woman. But reality is I've never even dated. Never been kissed. WHY? because like other woman I'm into committment, long relationships, and a guy who wants me for me, and wants me forever. Women have good intuition, if a guy is just playing around and isn't serious enough in the first place, even when we give them a chance, its just not worth it. This one guy I still have feelings for became my friend, teased me joked made me laugh made me feel special had deep convos with me tried to get to know me and I fell so hard for himmmm, as soon as I start flirting back showing him I like him, giggling like a doofus, he becomes all serious and professional and ignored me as much as he could. At the same time he's indecisive, or seems scared or something, because he would stalk me, be around me, say hi nervously, smile and his eyes would light up whenever he sees me, even to this day. And I'm sitting here thinking, I FRIGGING LOVE YOU WHY WONT You CALL ME You BONEHEAD?!?!?!

so there you go. we want guys to make a move, ESPECIALLY IF THEY LED US ON FIRST. now that I don't even know how he really feels about me esp because he's not taking any action over it, I've just become cautious and can't find a real guy who I actually like just as much and who wants to stick around for good.

Too busy with school and work + high standards.

generally, we're career oriented. I've been single since january & wow, guys are jst off to the sidefor now 'cos I'm a busy young lady. besides, I wanna give myself a break from all the BS I get from guys.

A lot of men are afraid of rejection and therefore don't go for good looking girls. I always see really good looking guys with average looking girls. Men like security, and a really good looking girl is intimidating because she can get whomever she likes.

Personally for me I have no time, I'm going to school full time, working full time, and when I'm done with school I want to get a job traveling around so I don't want to commit to a man when I know I have no time. I think that there is a lot more woman that are raising the bar, being more picky on what they want from a man, which I think they should! I know from friends that are way to picky but they know what they want, they are not going to fall for the first pick up line guy that they meet. It seems too many guys don't even try that hard to get a girl anymore.

i don't know too! I mean, I'm not a snob! why aren't there anyone making a move. is it because they feel that they would be rejected? but what if the girl likes him?

tell me about I have the most beautiful friends in the world who have never had boyfriends before & its like damn what the hell is wrong with these guys.

but I think its just the guys LOL

I wanna date and be in a relationship but just seems guys don't wanna make a move even after I know they are interested. what's up with that phenomena?

I agree with many other women here: both that many guys [if they have enough charm and look alright] can get sex without a relationship so they don't care for a relationship and because guys want their freedom. These 2 answers actually usually go together because guys usually don't care for a relationship and when they can get the sex without one then why pursue one? [Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?] Of course there are some other reasons why there are many good-looking single women - such as her personality and emotional stability - but I blame it a lot on girls willing to give their bodies without guys willing to give their time, hearts, etc.

I think its a couple of things.

One there are so many men afraid of committment.
Two, many men are wanting their cake and eat it too.
Three, too much choice so they dump one for another time and time again, thinking there is always something better coming along.
Four, there are more women in the world than men.

We're busy with our career and life. There are more to life then get marry and have kids.

Guys my age go for the slutty dumb girls. It sucks.

because university guys don't want to date!
so frustrating

Because you lazy, dirty pigs they call 'men' aren't good enough for us.

Because for some reason guys' confidence seems to be inversely related to their dateability. For example, I get plenty of offers from 50 year-olds with combovers, pot bellies and black/yellow teeth, or from jocks whose idea of a conversation-starter is "Nice legs, what time do they open?" But all the nice, respectful, funny guys are too shy or polite too try to chat a girl up or ask her out.

Also, all the good guys already have girlfriends.

So I guess the answer is, I'm too picky.

I can only speak for myself and I know partly guys think I won't talk to them if they approach me. I am also more picky then I used to be about what type (not looks) of guy I wanted to date. A lot of the ones that I am attracted to are also in relationships. I think where I'm from there aren't enough single kind hearted guys.

because men have too much choice, can get laid too easy with the internet and all, and also from the internet they can get a variety of women, one after the other after the other. End of. Oh and cause your lazy and cannot be arsed to woo ladies anymore.

Go back too old days I say, castles and letter writing! ok not quite that extreme but just a telephone f***ing call would be good start!

Women are single for loads of reasons. One of them is choice. However, in my case it's because lads dump me. They all say "it's not you, you're fantastic" and all that baloney, but I find that they can't handle my independent nature and they don't see a long term future with someone of my personality and background (long story). I'm cool with that cos I see all my guy mates as "brothers" and all my gal mates as "sisters" (along with one mate who has dubbed himself the "family gay" and another who calls himself the "family paedophile" - he's not really a paedo but it's funny).

On a general note, women are often unattached because they aren't what guys want. Guys have weird tastes, and not everyone fits into every category. I see the same thing with guys - a fine guy but no girlfriend? Sorry, come again?

It does baffle me too, but hey it's life and what can you do?

Women are single for different reasons. Some are single because they want to pursue their career and don't want to mix in a man because they can't offer him themselves entirely just yet. Some women are just fed up with men because they've gone through too many that have treated them badly. I'm no longer single, but when I was, I was single by choice because I was tired of guys treating me like a piece of meat. I think that's the issue with most women.

because some of us just don't want a relationship and then some of us are so fed up with guys cheating on us time after timer again and again that we just give up and men and just decide to stay single and maby date but as far as relationships are concerned that won't happen because we are so scared that we are going to get our heart broke again that we just don't take the risk. but I'm sure glad I took a risk with the guy I'm with now because he is loyal he is faithfull and I love him we have been together for 9 months and to think I wasnt even going to give him achance. but I'm glad I did.

It's not about finding a guy- because as a woman we have all realized it is quite easy to come across a man, or to date a man. but the main thing is finding a man that we feel is worth our time. why waste your time with mr.wrong. when you can just be patient and see what else comes along?. being single is a great fun time in everyones life. although your ultimate outcome is to be with someone but its fun getting to that point.

At least this is how it is in the 20s…in my experience…A lot of guys I know treating dating like its grocery shopping. You have a list of what you want and you go out and get it. Often these qualities are just signifiers for something they want but aren’t about the person they end up dating but what they think they want at the time.
I see a lot of advice for men on this site about picking up… reference manuals of how to pick up that use all kinds of terminology that make it sound like a game, where the more you get the more you win. In these manuals its not really about the quality of the girl or getting to know the lady in question but rather, getting good at the Game of picking up. I think its because a lot of guys have a fear of committing, feeling and being emotive because its ingrained in them to think that those qualities are effeminate. It is sad because I know a lot of guys who feel pressure that way…
At the same time the ladies I know tend to get hooked very quickly on the first guy that smiles at them confidently at the bar and then get super hurt after she sleeps with him and he turns out to be (gasp) a total dick. After this they tend to use that excuse to not take any kind of chances to wait for someone to come and do all the work and sweep them off their feet. This is probably because we are conditioned to want relationships in some ways…(chick flicks…ect.) anyway I am not saying this is everyone but being super-general this is what I see.

There's always some stupid blonde (no offense) chic standing on the sidelines to swoop in the second a guy you like takes an interest in you. This has happened to me with both guys that I've had strong feelings for.
Pretty crappy, huh? What's so wrong with me? Why aren't I good enough?
Probably cus I'm the guy's girl. Usually guys see me as a buddy over all else and treat me like one of the guys.
Oy vey, such is life. Someday he'll wake up and realize that what he's been searching for has been right next to him the entire time.
Until then.I'm not in any hurry to rush headlong into a relationship I'm not sure about.

I have to agree with archer girl, too many m***** f****rs out there.

There are way too many stupid guys in my area. All the good ones are married or attached, or, heheh, gay. Can't find a good man who's not already taken.

What I think is behind this is the fact that too many undeserving men reach the good woman first.They eventually damage her heart making it hard for the guy who is actually going to be there for her to have it. It goes both ways. At this point in time I would rather be by myself because I keep on getting hurt and it seems like every man I meet is about bullshit. Tired of dealing with it.

most guys girls end up with are pigs?

Perhaps because of the 'so many' of the guys that make this phenomena happen.;*)

I like this question, my opinion is the media has altered how men view women nowadays. Seriously, every single girl is judged for looks.

There's no 101 class for idiots I see nowadays.

i believe all these women are single because, they like to show that theyre independent, like the girl in you best answer said, she's goal oriented, and when you're in a relationship especially with a guy that she was with, it can be very demanding, and that's not good

Getz,this is a easy to understand even a caveman can understand
It's simple really,when a woman and man get in a relationship.
And than everything goes sour what happens?

Let's start with women since they are more emotional.
Their self-esteem takes a hit,same with their confidence,
they'll have trust issues at first.
They'll need some time to rebound from the break up
They are too worried about making the same mistake again
Which they usually go for someone like the previous ex
Also some women are late-bloomers and lack the dating experience

Now men are different
Yes,it does affect a guy but with men the break up doesn't last as long
as it does with women.

The Solution their are plenty of nice guys out there.
And yes some women that learn from previous relationship
Are the ones more likely to let the"good guys"slip through their hands
Women just need to be more cautious after they break up with a guy
Which is 1-thing ,but at the same time they need to give some guys a chance
to prove them self .
And that's why their are sooo many hot babes that aren't in relationships

Maybe it is something to do with psychology. A guy that gets cheated on will be less likely to think all women will cheat on him. Sure there are some that are really paranoid but since guys rarely talk about this stuff with each other, we don't know how common or uncommon being cheated on might be. We move on to another relationship and try again.

We face rejection to the point like it's a job interview. A guy joins a dating site and sends out 100 e-mails. Some goto profiles of women who no longer go on the site because of pigs, dogs, or they are in a relationship. Other women quickly look over the message and guess what type of person he is/could be. He might get 5 (actually a high number) of responses, 3 of which will end after a few correspondence. 2 look promising and he might go on a date with him but they will judge him harshly on appearance. Back to the drawing board. another 100 e-mails.

Society dictates the need of a button to instantly weed out 'bad apples' with a click of the mouse. The internet was supposed to be this great place to meet people but those who play games found that they could be anything they wanted online. Plus women say they want certain things but quite the opposite should hold true. If you like a guy who has a muscle car, you might be number 2 on his list of priorities.

Baggage is any past issue that you bring into a new relationship. I am not saying simply forget what happened to you but use that as an indication or red flags when similar behavior is underfoot.

Women say they are sick of the game but when it seems like everyone is on the field/court running to one end, stopping midway might be overwhelming. One way to prevent that is to tell the person straight up what's on your mind. There is no real room for interpretation but some miscommunication might occur.