How to get the guy to respect me?

I suppose there's a fun way or two to call each other names, even "idiot" and not be hurtful. I mean if you know its not meant seriously, just about any term in the world can be an endearment or joke between the two of you. But it sounds like that is NOT what's happening here.

If its a one time "slip up" you should be very clear: "When you call me names, I hate it and it makes me feel sad. I won't call you names, and won't put up with it. " If he's a good guy, he'll care, stop, not want to make you sad. If he's not a good guy, you should move on to a better sort of guy. If its a constant pattern, he's hurtful. It's not a slip up. Move on.

That said, even good guys can have an awful days, and accidently take out frustration on the wrong target; might have been told he's an "idiot" by his boss earlier, or by you for that matter. And he's just processing it. You might want to analyze it a little before dumping a good guy who just got fired, lost his dog, and slammed his finger in the car door. And accidentally lets a little rudeness out. Everyone is human. As long as its not a pattern.

Hit him with the Socratic method.

The Socratic method is based on Socrates' dialectic style. Whenever someone would challenge his authority on the subject, he would respond that they were right, state that he knew virtually nothing about it, and request their assistance in understanding the subject. Basically you flip the tables by challenging his capacity to be clever. You do not want to do this to anyone who's known for witty, sarcastic remarks. But someone who's not great with words is a good target.

So he comes up to you and says "Hey idiot." You respond with a puzzled look, shake your head, and then ask him: "I'm sorry, are you trying to insult me? You called me an idiot, was that an insult? That's a big word, three syllables? Good job. Is that, like, a new word in this year's dictionary? Where did you come up with that? Did you see it on the tv? Hear it on the radio? Did you Google it? Because that's really smart. You might be right, next to you I am an idiot. That was the word, right? You didn't say "troglodyte"? Oh, good, just wanted to make sure I heard you right. Because, you know, idiot's a pretty good insult. Wow, I'm reeling - you are very smart. Did you have any other big word insults today? Or did idiot pretty much tire you out? Because that is a good one."

The basic point is that you mock the insult itself and his incapacity to come up with something better. People have a tendency to defend against an insult, instead of mocking the insult itself.

For a more sophisticated approach, check out Sorkin's use of the question, question, question, knock-out from the "West Wing": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWqgD7lGneU.

He calls you "idiot"? what kind of retard are you going out with? You should ditch him and avoid dudes like him next time. I don't know any guys who call their girlfriends names in a "non-malicious way" it's ridiculous. Show him you won't take his shit? How about saying to him " Hey idiot, I don't want to see you ever again" or something along those lines.

If he was in bed, and he called you and idiot, you simply say, 'get out of my bed, NOW!' Obviously this guy has no respect for you. Honestly, even the girls I was just having sex with, I never ever called them idiots. That is degrading. Why are you dating these type of guys?

First of all, you answered your own question when you said"when we were in BED"! Guys don't respect you because you don't respect yourself. Remember this,. You teach people how to treat you by YOUR actions.

I don't think that you should be with a guy that calls you mean things like that. I know at least it's not any four letter words but STILL...He obviously has no respect for you and therefore you don't need to be with him.

Oohh sweetie, he's doing it maliciously. You don't play with your girlfriend like that. If he respected you he wouldn't. Before he even fixes his mouth to call you that, you should have already established respect in your relationship. He knows you won't do anything back, that's why he's not even afraid to go there. I'd break up with him because that's a problem if he thinks he can talk to you like that. That's a really big deal.