My best friend of 10 yrs always gives me advice whether it sounds nice or not she always tells me the truth & I appreciate it because I know she is only looking out 4 me, only problem is , she's dating this guy 5 yrs older than her ( she's 25, he's 30)for the past 5 yrs & he's not physically abusive but he always puts her down when she tells him she wants to do things like move into her own place, buy a car, or finish school ( example: tells her she won't be able to do it cause she's not ready so she gave up her apartment, for school he said she acts like she's slow, and most importantly....
she purposely stopped taking her birth control pills for a week & she missed her period for 2 months , she thought she was pregnant so she took a test. when he asked her what she would do if it was positive & she said she would keep the baby, he said he didn't want a baby to f--k up their lives & she still lived at home with mom ( but she still lives at home because HE told her not to take her apartment!
this makes me feel like crap because she wants me to just listen but why can't I say how I Really feel without losing my friend? she has no problem doing it to me? she ALWAYS asks his permission. I'm her best friend and have never even met or spoken to this guy! I feel like I'm not being a good friend-- so I got upset and hung up on her & I am having 2nd thoughts about our friendship.
sorry for the long question, any help would be great!
Have a moment to sit back and think about your relationship with your friend. If you valued her as a friend you would tell her how it is and not what she wants to hear. You need to talk sense into her, whether she wants to hear it or not. It's the best thing to do in a situation like this. Holding it from her just makes her suffer another day with this guy. The sooner you inform her how big of a mistake she is making being with this guy, the sooner she can start getting rid of this guy.
If your having second thoughts about your friendship, think about the times she was there for you. It sounds like this guy is just a manipulative control freak and your friend obviously deserves better. Tell her how you feel, knock some sense into her. Most importantly don't hold nothing back. Don't worry about losing her, if she's smart she will get rid of this guy and realize how much you helped her. Don't give up on her though, if your gone then who does she have to talk her out of her current problems.
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