Lately I've been having trouble with a 'friend' of mines. We've been acquaintances for about 3 years. And at some point we started becoming more. It started about 5-7 months ago. We starting having physical relations, except for sex. Many times we have come close, but I always back out cause I am not ready and just recently we stopped talking to each other. What cause this major change? He use to always talk to me online, call me, text me and show up at my house! now.. it's as if we hardly know each other... what's going on?? He told me that he liked me, but was that just a lie? We still talk occasionally, but its just not the same as before we 'hooked' up. I don't believe that he used me, or rather, I don't want to believe it... He's a good guy, plus I know for a fact that he's a virgin too! so whats the deal? is it because I didn't put up? I would ask him myself, but I am afraid of the answer.
Part of it probably is because you didn't go "all the way". I mean if you guys were friends before, then he isn't going to pressure you to do it. But you have to understand from his point of view he feels rejected. You can only get so close so many times before you drive a person nuts! He may feel that you are teasing him, or that maybe you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you. So he would rather back away than to get hurt. It might be good to talk to him about it. Explain that you do like him, but that you are not ready to be physical with someone, you're nervous about it and don't want to be rushed. If he is a virgin like you said, he might agree or apologize for flaking on you like that. But make a point to explain your feelings to him, and maybe then he will open up.
If you guys had "made out" and everything like that, then the relationship started to distance then that could be like (w/ him being a virgin) he could be either waiting for the "one" (which in that case, how will he know without a comparison; he can only assume about the "one" for him), or maybe he is embarrassed about his first time performing. You know "stage fright." But he's a virgin so he's mostly talk and less action, ask him why he is a virgin and that might give you an insight on what went wrong. It's a legit question to ask.
He might of been hurt by rejection. Are you sure he's still a virgin? I'm pretty sure virgins wouldn't try to engage for physical contact unless they were in the spur of the moment or maybe he was comfortable around you. If he attempts it often, he might be just in it for that. I think he distanced himself from you because he's having mixed feelings, or he's scared to do anything further after you already made it clear that you weren't ready.
Talk to him about it. In person though, your more likely to get the truth that way. Ask him what is on his mind and how he feels about you. If he doesn't understand, then you need to forget him. He needs to respect you for your decision and learn how to take your relationship slow. Just let him know how you feel about this situation and where your relationship stands. The only way to know his real feelings is to let him know yours.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 11 months ago
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