I think I have hit rock bottom... I have always struggled with finding true friends, always been a bit of an outsider. I have not been able to even live with a man let alone marry one, no man has ever truly loved me, and my friends all disappeared when my mother passed away. I had no other family other than my two children, and she was our rock. Now yet another failed relationship, I can't hold a job for the life of me, my children are better off without me and I have just miscarried an unplanned pregnancy. I will be spending new years alone and I just want my life to end. So many times I have heard that things will improve, well they have never improved only got worse. I can't take the loneliness and the pain anymore. Is there anyone who has ever seen the light and has had improvements even when things look dim?
Sweetheart, I don't know. I battle depression and the other feelings you described. They cloud my thoughts and can't even remember all the times I felt like nothing mattered and I'd rather die than carry on another day. I still feel this way, and it makes everyday life that much more difficult. Take comfort in knowing that you aren't the only one. You're not alone. I've had some ups and downs the last few years. You have work twice as hard to find it, but there is happiness out there. XOX Don't give up, Chin up!
Thank you, its nice to hear some kind words. I do tend to try to hard to get others to like me these days, I think the loneliness shows through, so they run twice as fast. I do hope there are genuine people out there who just take me for who I am. I am normally happy go lucky but just so much has been going on with no support.. thanks. - 10 months ago
First off, I am sorry for the grief you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. And I'm not going to sit here and tell you everything is going to be ok, because I don't know what is going on. But I can give you a couple pieces of advice.
1) YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE. You control how you respond to situations. We can't always control everything that happens around us and to us, but we can control how we respond. The second we decide to stop being victims, and start taking control of our life, is the second our life starts to turn for the better. Sounds like your life has kind of spiraled out of control. With your mom passing away, you can't control that. But you having friends, you CAN control. It is healthy to have a grieving time for your mom. But you need to stop grieving and move on. Your mom wouldn't want you to be miserable. She'd tell you to suck it up and get over it. Possibly the reason you don't have friends is because no one wants to hang out with you. So change that. Write down a list of characteristics a "close to perfect you" and start to live into that person. You won't be that person right away, but begin to live into it. You will see a change.
2) Start living for other people. The people that are most miserable in life are the ones that are only focused on themselves and their problems. They are too busy feeling sorry for themselves that they only see their problems. If you start truly being unselfish and living for other people, you will have a purpose. Your attitude will change because you are no longer focused on your problems, but you will be focused on helping other people. Now this might or not be financially based. If you're a single mother, then you probably don't have a lot of money. But there are ways you can show other people that you care. Maybe make cards for local hospital patients. There are a whole lot of different things you can do to help people and show that you care.
I promise you that if you start doing these 2 things, your life WILL turn around. Your life won't be perfect, but your outlook on life will be changed.
Firstly, my friends were for over 20 years and they ran when mum died, it had little to do with who I am as a person, my mother would not say suck it up either, she would see how these people have been. It takes time to make new good friends at my age. As for living for others, I have always done that, have always reached out and been kind, I never get much of that in return, not that I expect that. I also do not see myself as a victim, unfortunate and have bad luck yes. - 10 months ago
Answerer
Ok, well like I said, I don't know all the details. Now you can keep feeling sorry for yourself, since obviously you're the ONLY one in the whole world that has problems, or you can SUCK IT UP AND DO SOMETHING. - 10 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks for your understanding... I have been doing something.. been fighting to improve my life all along, sometimes we get tired and feel like there are no decent people out there. I don't feel sorry for myself, I am fed up with people who say suck it up and do something when that is all I ahve ever been doing. - 10 months ago
Answerer
Ok but then you come on here, and you do some more whining, and you wonder why people want to hang around you. I'm sorry that everything bad is happening. But you do feel sorry for yourself or you'd get over it, stop whining about it, and seeking pity from other people on a relationship advice website. You're right, we do get tired. So why don't you find something that gives you strength and motivation and do that? Obviously you need to change something if you don't have any friends. - 10 months ago
Answerer
I'm not trying to be a jerk, but you need to wake up and smell something. You're alive. You have 2 kids. What better foundation to start building your life around. You can't tell me that there aren't people out there looking for friends. You can't tell me that there aren't men out there looking for love. So if you're not having luck with these things, then obviously there is some personality or mental issue that you need to work on. - 10 months ago
Question Asker
The reality is I attract people to me who walk all over me. I do not have a mental or psychological problem, I am actually one of the most gentle caring people with lots of compassion and understanding towards others. I do not wallow in self pity, I smile and I am there for those who were around me. I am not saying I am not grateful for my kids I am, I just am unable to give them what they need at the moment. losing someone is draining and doing it alone is very hard. - 10 months ago
What Girls Said
There are no answers from girls yet. Answers are getting posted all the time so check back soon...or submit your own answer above!
Body Language Secret #1There is an obvious height disadvantage (or advantage depending on your point of view) that women have. Women, on average, are about 5.5 inches shorter than men. These...
So I've been on this site a year or less than that, I don't bother to remember. I've answered alot of questions on here and one thing always remains the same. The site gets the same questions over...
Disclaimer: GirlsAskGuys cannot guarantee the accuracy of answers, opinions and advice submitted by members. Please use common sense when following or omitting any content on GirlsAskGuys.com
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
