How do I get him to call/text more?

I think you need to relax a bit.

One of the biggest ways women make themselves crazy is by comparing male behavior to female standards. And communication is one way where men and women tend to be very different. Rule of thumb: women communicate in order to bond; men communicate in order to transmit information or accomplish a specific goal.

You start by saying that he's "never been good at communicating if we're not together." Some people simply dislike communicating other than face-to-face. He's said he dislikes phones; I also dislike phones too, because on phones you don't see body language, facial expression, etc. You only get part of the message on a phone.

The most important thing -- at least now -- is that you need to simply accept him as he is, same as how he's right-handed and has a certain hair color. He's the strong, silent type [so to speak]. There's a good chance _he will never want to initiate long phone conversations with anyone_.

I think the biggest problem is your insecurity. You equate regular contact with approval, love, etc, and if you don't get regular contact, you begin worrying. But like I wrote, guys don't typically communicate that way. So don't take it personally.

Just as an experiment, don't carry your phone with you for a week. Leave it in the car while you're at work. Turn the phone off unless you're using it. Check it once or twice a day. Test your feelings. It's a valuable way to test your thinking and behavior. If you can learn to be less attached to your phone, I suspect his not calling/texting won't bother you.

I recommend you read this article by linguist Deborah Tannen [ link ] She's written a lot about the differences between male and female communication. Her book "You Just Don't Understand" should be required reading for all couples, so they can better understand those differences and adjust.

Hope this helps.