I'm in college and have never had a boyfriend..is there something wrong with me? I mean, I'm shy, so I don't exactly put myself out there...but if I'm interested, it's obvious if you pay enough attention. I'm 5'5" with long dark brown hair, almost black eyes, and I'm of average weight (a little chubby, but not fat). I sing, write poetry/fantasy/fiction, play video games (I can kick butt at guitar hero, and I love Final Fantasy). I'm fairly smart and I love to think about random things. I quote from movies/books/songs,etc when the occasion arises. I'm always in the middle of a great book, and I work in a library. I'm generally attached to my computer, mostly discovering new music. A few of my favorite bands include My Chem, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, Michael Buble, Jason Mraz, music from Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts, the Killers, Bon Jovi, Jack Johnson, John Meyer, Nsync and 98 Degrees (and that's just to name a FEW). I love movies in general. I'm willing to watch anything excluding horror and spoof movies (though I'm trying to get over my fear of horror films). I love to laugh and be with friends and to have fun. I'm always up for a random adventure. So what's wrong? Why have I been single for my entire life? Is there something that I can do differently or that needs to be changed?
No...it's really obvious. How I act around the guy changes dramatically and after a certain point, I get tired of waiting and do put myself out there. It's really quite embarrassing. It is rather subtle at first, but it grows in obviousness. It's gotten me hurt a couple times. - 2 months ago
N/A
When: 3 months ago
I was 21 when I got my first girlfriend, the difference here is that I finally gave up on the dating scene by that age and just didn't care anymore. I felt that I was too ugly and too unlike the other guys, I didn't drink, smoke, talk about "banging girls every night," etc. I was always the quiet, shy type, that was good at finding things to do on my own, such as drawing, painting, etc.
I finally gave up and said the hell with it, if I was going to be single forever, than that is what it was meant to be for me. That is, until a girl came along and got to really know me, then she fell in love with me. The rest was history.
What p*sses me off is that all of her friends, mother, sisters, co-workers, etc. all say how I am such the perfect guy (I cook for her, do romantic gestures often, put off my friends for time with her, do simple date ideas, etc.), yet, why have girls never looked at me this way in the past? Anyways, just be positive, and don't be desperate, and someone will come along when you least expect it. Literally.
Wow, you really do sound like me. :) Thank you so much for sharing this with me and giving me some advice. I've been trying to just let this matter go for a while now, but that's hard for me. I'm getting better at it though. :) - 3 months ago
Answerer
Not a problem :) In fact, you are my type definitely, (your likes, looks [ I think you are pretty],etc.) So there are guys out there, though they can be hard to come by. I'd just say hang in there. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Aww! Thank you so much! *hugs*
I'll definitely hold out for that right guy to come along. Or at least I'll do my best. :) - 3 months ago
I'm 21 and never had a girlfriend, I feel your loneliness, it sucks more since I am a guy since there is more pressure for us because since us guys have to ask the girl out and initiative the date and relationship.
Don't you just hate how society does this to people? Why does the world of dating have to be so complicated? - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yeah, seriously, some girls have actually told me that I am a very nice guy, some have told me that I am too cute to have never have dated, oh well, they were probably just teasing me. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Sometimes I wish I was a woman sometimes. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
I'm sure they weren't teasing you. Being a woman isn't any better. There's so much pressure to be super skinny, always perfectly made up, and to just simply be flawless in every way. We're told from a very young age that in order to be love you have to be beautiful, and to be beautiful, you have to look like Barbie. I'm not saying that guys don't go through similar situations, but it seems there's even more pressure on women. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yeah, we all have it hard in different ways, also for guys, there is more pressure for us to get laid and lose our virginity, like society and the media say it is okay for a woman to be a virgin, but not okay for a man. Eventhough sex is not my priority, like I am not interested in casual sex, I want it be with someone I love and care about. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Oh yeah, totally. We live in such a sex-crazed world, and yet, not many people are doing anything to change that. Sex is definitely not a top priority of mine either. Like you said, I want it to be with someone I love..someone who loves and cares for me as well. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Yeah true, I know there really is no rush to lose your virginity, but there is so much pressure that it is hard, but I definetley don't want to become a 30 or 40 year old virgin, since I am 21, it is not so bad. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Personally, I say forget society. No one else can determine when I feel ready to have sex. I'm more than wiling to wait however long it takes to find that one special someone. I don't think there's anyone out there who can make me change my mind. - 6 months ago
There's nothing wrong with you- ur 19! You got ur whole life ahead of you... keep doing what you're doing and don't let it bother you that ur dateless rite now. I know it's a little cliched/corny, but when ur not looking for love, it finds you. Just don't let a lack of dates/bf's bug you.
well I thought the same thing after I met my horrible ex boyfriend because I couldn't date anyone due to his abuse and emotional trauma he caused but I healed and learnt more about relationships and now I'm with a pretty sweet guy who sends me cute messages and sings to me :-) don't sweat it, just meet guys your friends might know or join clubs and meet more people :-)
Thanks for the advice! I actually recently told my guy friend that I like him as more and since then his attitude has become much more flirtatious towards me and he said he wants to hang out more! I'm so excited about that! Like tonight I burned my thumb on boiling water and he told me he'd kiss it and make it better (via text). And now he's calling me Love! - 3 months ago
Dude! I know how you feel. I think part of my problem is that I am kinda picky and I haven't met a guy that I am interested enough to want to be in a relationship with. Btw, I love your glasses! They are really cute!
Yeah, my best friend's like that too. There is this one guy that's caught my eye....he's kinda my friend. I was really apprehensive about that fact...but I recently told him that I like him as more than a friend. It was so nerve wrecking! But he said he wants to hang out more, so that sounded promising! :D
And thank you! Unfortunately, I need new glasses. These ones are old and dying on me. :( It makes me sad....I really love them too! - 3 months ago
Answerer
Awwwwww that great!! Hopefully he will see what a catch you are.
Dude, no, I NEED new glasses. I have jacked my up sooo badly because I don't like them, so I don't really take care of them. I've been meaning to go looking for new ones this summer, but I keep getting busy. But I really want colorful ones like yours! - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Haha! I know what you mean. Mine are practically falling apart on me. - 3 months ago
I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend either. what's the hurry in my opinion? when it happens it happens. I have been attracted and interested in other guys and they the same. but somehow it nevers gets to the next level. go with the flow. your 18 years old, you've got the world on string! so take some more time to learn more about yourself. Do something scary... not dangerous. just something you've never done before. it could be something as silly as trying a new food, taking an arts class, joining a club, or even just taking the time to acknowledge and talk to someone you typically don't notice or wouldn't usually talk to. I've grown up so much alone from new experiences I never would have imagined of doing when I was 18. the whole official boyfriend/girlfriend thing is overrated anyway if you ask me. not that I don't want one. I do! but these things take time for me and they might take time for you too.
Dont worry. You will be fine and you will get a boyfriend when you are ready. You can not push for it to happen. Just have fun with your friends and something will happen when you least expect it.
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When: 3 months ago
When: 3 months ago
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