My ex broke up unofficially broke up with me on May 14, we went back and forth and when I told him I was done and gave him his promise ring back on June 7 he came back to me on June 8 and said that he was done hurting me and making me cry and gave me my ring back. On June 14 he broke up with me again. The week we were together he was in Colorado. He keeps telling me that he just wants to be alone and enjoy being 23. I want to believe him but I'm scared. I truly believe that we are meant to be together and in some way believe that we needed this break up but I'm scared. I know he loves me and that the feelings are still there but he told me that 1) being mean to me is easier to deal with this situation and 2) out of sight out of mind. It will be an exact week tomorrow since we've talked and it's killing me. Any advice on what to do to get him back sooner than later or at all?
Get the idea of "truly meant to be together" out of your head. There simply isn't such a thing, it's a statistic impossibility.
Give him his freedom. Let him do what he wants. A relationship is a mutual agreement between two people that can be broken if only one person doesn't want to be a part of it. It sounds like he doesn't want to be a part of it. It sucks, I'm sorry. I've been dumped before and I hated it too. But the sooner that you can start to move on, the happier you will be. Of course, when he sees this, he'll run back to you and want you back. You can do whatever you like then. However, that's only going to happen if you are truly over him, not trying to trick yourself and convince yourself you are happier. It will take time.
Suggestions for getting over him? DO NOT stalk his MySpace or Facebook or twitter. DO NOT text him or call him everyday. Doing these things will set you back months in trying to get over him.
In real life, you simply don't "get people back". I have no idea where that misunderstanding comes from in teenage and early 20something girls. Maybe too many romantic movies that Hollywood as pumped out. If you two end up back together, it will be because it is what is best for both of you at that time, not "getting someone back" a month after you two broke up.
This is probably good for you. Being scared is good. Learn and live on your own for a while. You'll end up a better person because of it.
Thank you for being honest and sincere. I will definitely take your advice. I made a promise to myself last Monday to cut off all communication with him and I told myself yesterday that I was going to be ok and that no matter what, I would find a way to be happy and work through this. He then called me last night and I didn't pick up and then he texted and called me this morning until I did pick up. He got mad and jealous when he heard how well I was doing. - 4 months ago
I agree with your comment COMPLETELY! He just wants to be 23. Let him live! Appearing desperate will take you a lot longer to get over him. This will also cause him to lose a great deal of respect for you. No man wants a woman who is a pathetic doormat (no offense). Just a reality check. Good luck in trying to get over him. DO NOT try to win him back.
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