We dated for three months last school year; he dumped me because I told him I wasn't going to be as physical with him as he wanted. However, we soon got back together because we still liked each other. After another month I dumped him because I felt guilty about how physical we were already being (religious reasons). We're both in college, and we saw each other a little over the summer, but not really--mostly just in touch by e-mail. Then right before school this year a bunch of us (we have all the same friends) went to his beach house, and we started hooking up again there. We alternated between hooking up and not speaking that semester, and I got really mad at him because at our joint birthday party (with a third friend too) he was really obviously flirty with this other girl, and it turned out he'd been pursuing her too. I didn't speak to him for a long time then, but after a while he told me she was sort of boring and so one night when I was tipsy we started hooking up again. Now this semester I've gone abroad, and talking to him was upsetting me, so I've cut off contact, but I still think about him way too much, and check his facebook profile, and generally waste time thinking about someone who even if he really liked me also treated me like crap. I also think he's still in love with his ex-gf from before me, even though they broke up years ago now, and he may still love me too--I'm afraid he's just the sort of guy who doesn't get over people, which is why I had to stop talking to him while I'm abroad--it seems to me almost like he's manipulative, and wants to stay in touch so I'll keep thinking about him. But now we're not talking and I still do. I know that if I started dating someone else that would help A LOT but I feel like part of the problem with this past relationship was that I started dating someone I wasn't absolutely CRAZY about, and so I want to wait until I meet someone perfect, but I want to get over my ex more in the meantime. I'm also quite jealous when I think he's been talking to some new girl. What should I do to really get over him?
Maybe you need to find the post of the girl that felt like crap after being used for sex by her ex. You could be heading the same way, as many other girls go when they date manipulative guys. What you have to do is sit down, get a white piece of paper, and start listing what are the qualities that you want in a guy. And be honest. Come back the next day, get another piece of paper, and start looking at the qualities that you like about this guy that you foolishly want. I'm betting that this guy falls short of the first list you have. That should be reason enough to concentrate a guy that you think is worth of your time, and maybe that should propel you to start dating other guys.