My boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me saying I cheated on him three months ago. I would never cheat on him. I went to a wake of a baby and was really distraught. After the wake I called him on my way home. I was crying and he asked me to text him when I got home. I was so concerned with getting home and seeing my children (I have two, he doesn't have any) that I didn't text him. When he called, I was really short with him. To make a long story short he was convinced that I cheated on him. We got past it, so I thought, but recently he broke up with me saying that I cheated on him that night and he is convinced. The hard part is that I am in the Military and he "hates all the guys hitting on me all the time" which really doesn't happen. His major concern is I lied and I cheated and he thinks I will do it again when I go away for work. The question is how do I make him see that he is wrong? I would have never cheated on him, this was the best relationship I ever had (although it was short). We've been arguing about the subject for three weeks now, and he says he can't talk about it, and really doesn't want to see me (although he says he still likes that we talk on the phone). How can I get him to believe me, and try and make this work?
Do you really want someone this insecure in your life and more importantly as a role model for your kids? The problem with really insecure individuals is that you'll be walking on egg shells for the rest of your life because he may be set off by the way you greeted the neighbor, the way you smiled at the mail man, the way you looked at the grocery store clerk, and so on.
Besides, I don't believe he truly needs anybody in his life because he clearly has a very vivid imagination and he likes to live within the confines of his imagination.
As lovebird said, I think you are better off without him and you may think that you want him back but when you find a good man, you'll look back at this moment and wonder why you even gave him a second thought.
You can't make this relationship work, because he doesn't trust you. From your story, I believe you when you say you didn't cheat. But he doesn't. He sounds like a very suspicious and controlling individual. At this point, I don't think you can convince him to trust you. You are better off without him. Forget him, and move on to someone who really wants to be with you.
Funny because that is the same advice I have gotten from everyone. He has told me that he doesn't think I would cheat now, but that I have in the past. He has always said he trusts me "just not the situation". Only problem, I want him back. - 8 months ago
First you need to stop being stubborn about this, if he isn't letting the whole cheating thing go, well there's nothing anyone can say or do to change his mind. So you're out of luck in that department - no special and fantastic answers for you.
Or. You can realize that you never made the mistake and therefore you should not be punished and rise above this. If he doesn't trust you, there are reasons why, it may have absolutely nothing to do with you, could be a former girlfriend, his parents, himself etc. Trust can only be given if it is within oneself - trust yourself and it comes naturally to those around you.
Going back to him will only get you the same thing, you go home to your kids, and then it's all up in your face at how you were in bed with somebody - if you can live with that kind of treatment, then you might as well get on your hands and knees and beg for him back in your life, cause at that point, you really don't matter. I believe you should matter.
Although this relationship was good for 7 months, its seems to me he's missing one of the key foundations of being in a relationship, TRUST. Without trust in a relationship it means nothing & you'll encounter more problems in the future. If you had explained to him the story & he doesn't believe you I don't think he's worth it. I know jealousy often arises too, but he should trust you that nothing will happen. I don't mean to bash up your boyfriend, but he seems to me as though if he has low self-esteem or that he was burned badly in the past. Regardless, I think you deserve someone who mutually respects and trusts you. If he can't get past this, he's the one whose missing out.
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 9 months ago
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