Okay, I liked this guy who lived across the street from me for a long time but, I thought he had a girlfriend so, I stayed away. One day, out of the blue he came over and started talking to me and mentioned that he and the girl had separated. Actually, he said they were never really together, just friends but, she had moved out. He said that everything with her was a big mistake that he never meant to happen. So, we talked all night and he told me that he had always wanted to ask me out but was a little intimidated. We really hit it off and started seeing each other A LOT! For five weeks straight, we were inseparable. Neither one of us could even sleep at night, we just stayed up talking all night, every night! If we were both at work, he called me between every job just to tell me he missed me. We even talked about moving in together. I know it's sounds crazy but, it just seemed right. It was all very intense! Anyway, a couple of times his ex "friend" would stop by crying and begging him back. He told me that I was all the strength he needed to tell her no. He said he was never attracted to her and never loved her but, he felt sorry for her and she helped him out a lot with his kid. Well, after 5 weeks of magic, he stopped calling. I finally, got him to talk to me and he said it wasn't me, He said I was awesome but, he just wasn't happy, things were moving too fast, he didn't want to risk getting hurt the way he did in a past relationship, he said he liked me too much and he didn't want to. He said he just needed to be alone because he wasn't ready for a relationship right now. He was actually kind of cold about it. He said he wished he never met me because he didn't want to hurt me. There was nothing I could do to talk him out of it. I was devastated but still hopeful. A month passed and he stayed alone. I would go out and get home at 2 or 3 a. M. And he would come out on his porch and smoke a cigarette. I would wave and be friendly, he would do the same. Then, one day my car had to go in the shop so, my ex-boyfriend let me borrow his truck for a week. That is when his ex "friend" moved back in. I asked him if he loved her and he said no. He said he just needs her help with his daughter. I asked him if he was sleeping with her and he said yes. He said he was sorry for hurting me. I am so mad, hurt and disgusted, I don't know what to do. I hate to even go home now. I stay at my best friend's house all weekend, every weekend because I don't want to go home. I don't want to see them together. She is always staring at me. I know it's not about looks but, she's not attractive. He said her personality sucked too. But, apparently she's not as bad as me. She doesn't have a job, he said he was always having to pay her bills, and he said she was always depressed. She doesn't take care of herself. As a result of this, my self esteem has taken a nose dive. I don't know how to get over this and I don't understand why he did this to me. What should I do
I don't want to sound to forward, but it sounds like you may have been a rebound for him after his shitty relationship went sour with the bimbo for a little while. I know its easier said than done, but don't let it get you down. You sound like a wonderful person and don't want to get mixed up with a guy like that anyway. It sounds like he is the one with self worth issues, he wants to feel in control by being with a low self esteem head case like her. Don't let it control what you do in your life....instead of hang out at your friends houses, have all your friends hang out at your house, be loud, laugh and have a great time. show him that you are not effected by him at all, it just makes him feel stronger when he sees that it does and will make him think twice when he sees you don't care. hope a guys view helps.
Hey, thanks. You aren't being too forward, you just told the truth and I appreciate it a lot. I need to get out of this state of denial I'm in. I think you are right, I was a rebound. It sucks but, that's the way it is sometimes. They deserve each other. - 7 months ago
First off, it's natural for you to feel as you do, but you are letting him ruin your life by avoiding your home. He's just another guy in the world, and you should go back to your house. Easier said than done, I know. Have your best friend help you, ask her to stay the night with you or something. Go back gradually until you're comfortable to be there all the time again.
As for him, people confuse love with infatuation all the time, and I think you had a strong infatuation with this man. Real, true love is much stronger, and can last through anything. This man is not for you if he's sleeping with this other woman.
Pain takes time to go away. Give yourself time to get over this, and be patient with yourself. You will, eventually. Do other things to keep yourself occupied, keep your friends close, and find a hobby that can help you. I personally find that writing things down, and keeping a journal helps me get over things. See if this helps you, if it does then great. If not, find something that will help you.
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