I just found out I am pregnant and my boyfriend says that he is "no longer in love with me. " We had lived together, and apart (now we are living apart) but we have made it through a lot of tough times together. We just went out of town together for the weekend and had a nice time. The next week we got back and I found out I was pregnant. He told me he had decided he did not love me any more but he will be there for the baby when it is born financially, etc. But I don't understand. The only way he will hang out with me now is if I clean his house, cook for him and service him sexually. I feel very alone and used and I don't understand why he is treating me like a slave now that I am pregnant. We were actually good friends before I found out but now he seems to like me as a maid/whore. I am going through a lot right now emotionally and want to distance myself from him but also want to have him in my life. I have asked him if there is another woman and he assures me there is not. I just don't understand how now that I am having this baby he no longer loves me or even treats me with the respect or love he did just a few weeks ago. Help!
You don't need someone like this in your life dear! Life is hard enough without people making us feel used and abused just so we can have them in our life. I am sorry this is happening to you, be strong and get away from the situation. It will be better for you and your baby!
First thing first, don't be a slave to his needs. I don't know why you subject yourself to this but I sincerely hope that you are not doing this because you feel like he'll appreciate you more or that he'll see that you'll be a good wive/girlfriend!
Put the brakes on him and start thinking about yourself! You need to spend some time on yourself and come to terms with what you want and what kind of man you want. And do not ever let others put you down or subject yourself to being anyone's maid or whore as no true relationship is based on that!
As for why he broke up with you. I wish I could tell you but I'd much rather ask him why he became such a coward and why he disrespects the mother of his future child as that is not even remotely to being a man!
Okay you're pregnant, and your boyfriend is acting shady. Now he doesn't want to be part of your life but will be in the baby's life financially. First of all don't cook for somebody who does not appreciate you as a woman, and as his child's mother. Second, stop cleaning his dirty funky filthy house, he does not appreciate it or you. Third stop having sex with this clown. You feel alone and used. Yes you are being used. You are nobodys slave/whore/maid, etc. You distance yourself from now asap, before you lose your baby. Think about you and your baby, be secure in who you are, know your worth. A man that treats you like that don't deserve you. Live for you and your baby. If you are alone call mom and dad, or some other relative. Go shopping for the baby. Don't worry about if him, he's dealing with some issues with himself.
Sounds like he freaked out, as I'm sure most guys do. Having a child to him means commitment FOR LIFE and going from single to being a daddy (or mommy in your case) is a big change for everyone involved. I bet he needs a little time to soak it all in and then maybe he'll come back around. The good thing here is that he's not shying away from his responsibility to be a father, so you all will still have time to work on your relationship. It could still work out in the end. Good luck!
Honey, guys are strange sometimes. Being preg will not make a guy want you more if he doesn't want to be there. I was 17 when I found out I was preg. And my boyfriend at the time which was the dad broke up with me and never talked to me till the baby was born. Thank God I had my mom and dad. I was so alone I didn't tell my family I was preg till I was 7 months. I was so tiny and stressed you couldn't even tell. But back to your story, he is a loser for leaving. Boys leave ,men take up responsibly. He s a coward and God will bless you greatly and give you the strength you need. I know its hard I have done it all on my own since I was 17 and now my little girl is 8. I look back at what I went thru and I thank God every day because I do not see how I got here today doing it on my own, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Some guys just aren't the family types and we can't change them, they have to want to change on their own. It will all work out in favor for you and trust me he will regret the way he is acting and I hope he doesn't wait to long to step up to the plate. And do not treat him as if he were a king by cleaning and whatever else you can do just to get him to hopefully love you again! His $%@ should be doing that for you. People do not realize that when you have sex you have to deal with the responsibility that comes w it. If you don't want to deal w them don't have sex or at least protect yourself. Guys are so dumb when it comes to this issue.
(from past experience) he is scared and doesn't know what to do. My advice is don't let him treat you like that eventually he will come around (usually after the baby or right before) but ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship like this
Thanks for all the great responses. Now some few weeks later he HAS come around. Already, and is stepping up to the plate and acting like a man. I credit the above advice from guys because I immediately stopped treating him like a king and instead paid attention to my needs for a few weeks. He came to me and told me everything he did he did out of fear and he is going to try to be a better man to me because he really is in love with me, just scared! We are in counseling and things look good. - 5 months ago
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