Well I just broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. When we talked about it he asked me if there was any chance of us going back out and I said yes. Well I just found out now that on the day of our breakup he immediately told another girl she was beautiful and what he said was kind of similar to what he told me. Then they were talking about me. I shouldn't care because I broke up with him, but it kind of hurt me and made me feel like our relationship didn't mean anything to him, he won't even talk to me face to face only on IM, even though he said he still wanted to be friends. Am I being overly paranoid or is there something more that might be going on?
The behaviour sounds potentially devious, your suspicions are understandable. There is a potential it is not intentional though, much like girls, guys can also be very uncertain about what they want. He sounds like he's weighing his options, it's good to break up with you if he is uncertain he can dedicate time to you. He is unsettled by feelings for this other girl perhaps.
You said they were talking about you. Did you hear this from him, or from her or someone else? This matters. It is legitimate to feel torn, however if you are communicating with each partner about the other, you really should be able to tell the other about your concerns and confusions, and not talk behind their back, because the potential for deception is too high and the guy's gotta realize this makes the girls insecure.
If he has told another girl similar things, it is not paranoia at all, it's a just confusion and a standard desire to want to be informed as to where you stand in his mind.
Your not going to like this: but for your sake, I hope you will read and think about this - however I doubt you will. Whatever, here we go:
Your question comes off as if you feel your a victim. After you dumped the guy. You know exactly what is going on. HELLO. Remember. You broke-up with him. He has every right in the world to hate your guts and throw darts at pictures of you. Believe me, your Ex didn't invent the idea of complimenting the less fairer sex. If you still like the guy, you blew it. Sorry. I never ever talk to Ex's, and fail to see why anyone should; most of my female friends agree. You should be kissing your lucky stars that he is even willing to IM you. Did you honestly think you could dump a guy and still rely on him for friendship? Next time, before doing something that effects someone else's feelings, you might want to at least think about the effects your actions will have on your own feelings first. Food-for-thought. Good Luck.
He promised me we'd still be friends no matter what happened. We've been good friends for a long time and he even told me after we broke up something like a break up wouldn't destroy our friendship. - 8 months ago
Answerer
People make lots of promises all the time - he most likely said that to help you feel more comfortable because he cares about you. asking a guy if some outfit makes you look fat, even if in reality it does, a guy that cares is going to say no. - 8 months ago
More that you think. Either he is trying to make you jealous or he is trying to move on. Maybe he just needs to vent and is using this girl. The question is, if he is telling her the same thing, do you want him back?
(Age:Under 18)
When: 8 months ago
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