ok so was with ex for 4 years we broke up a month ago it was mutual we, still very close and get along well, he called yesterday told me how he felt that the commitment scared him, and he happy now he can do what he wants and when, I explained to him that I do still have feelings and I didn't want to lose him from my life, he said I think being friends is the best, he still misses me and wants to c me too so I said yeah and we could see what happens but he doesn't want to get my hopes up, I'm happy with being friends and doing things together, he feels really bad for hurting me, he always said he wouldn't. He talked about me finding someone else and I not interested, he not interested in anyone else either so how do I go about this friendship?, we get along really well and I said to leave all the relationship stuff in the past, the fact is he wants to be around me but without the commitment has anyone gone through this?
Update: i know you might think he keeping me as a back up, he not like that he just not interested in a relationship period, I was his first serious relationship and he nearly 40!.
2 months ago
But if you're 29, and he's 40, I have a hard time believing that anyone at that age would have this kind of commitment issue. This guy has serious issues with regard to relationships that are not going to be solved until he addresses them.
You can remain friends with him, but I would highly recommend that you start going on dates with others on a social basis. Because I doubt this guy is ever going to be able to commit to anyone.
I agree, my ex boyfriend of 1 year appears to have the same commitment-phobia..just ended things because he got WAY too far inside his own head! He's not done with me however. He's very receptive IF I INITIATE CONTACT. I have begun to move on; I don't tell him WHO I am doing things with or exactly WHAT I am doing as I don't feel its his business (& vice-versa). The best advice I've gotten is to increase my circle of friends! It helps & its good 4 ur ego. If he comes back, great-its a new beginning - A month ago
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