I'll keep this as short as possible. My ex fiance and I got together in 2003, we broke up start of 2008 (together about 5 years), he made me look REALLY bad to his family by telling them our problems, I admit that it WAS my fault we broke up and I apologized to him, so when things calmed down between us and he wanted to take me back somewhat, his family was a major problem so he could not simply just give us another shot because they did not approve and they would not be happy with him. He is a very family-orientated person and wants to always keep them happy. So we kept seeing each privately, til July/ August 2009 (last month, all up it was almost 7 years) and were 'romantically involved', we just never made it public at all. That caused a lot of fights between us in the past 2 years. Nonetheless we always told each other the love we still had for each other, we were happy around each other and what we had. We acted like we did when we were together. End of July this year, we had another small little argument, nothing worse than what we had before. I waited for him to come around and call or come and see me, I got nothing. I called him a week later and got really short - abrupt one word answers from him. I thought he was holding a grudge over our small argument. Then I tell him I miss him, and he blurts out that all of a sudden he is seeing someone and she is important. He tells me he met her just after we fought and gave her a shot. It's now a few weeks later and he is still 'seeing her'. The thing is when he told me he was seeing her we had a bit of an argument about it I cried to him asking why he would just let us go, he told me he will ALWAYS love me and I'm his angel but he can't be with me. Because it is TOO HARD, no one in his family accepts me and it's just too hard to be with me. But he always thinks about me and loves me. This new girls he has fallen for, he hasn't met. They email and speak on the phone, they share photos. She lives overseas. But he is so serious that he is going to see her this month. She is perfect to him, has no flaws, she is 7 years younger, and makes him so happy from what he says. He already bought the plane ticket and is seeing her for 2 weeks to a month. Another thing, when he told me about her he let me come and see him to say goodbye where he gave me a hug and a goodbye kiss... and yet again tells me he will always love me. I am hurting so much, this person was my life. What should I do? He was it, he was my soul mate. We were it. Do you think he will come around? Do you think this trip overseas to meet the girl he has fallen for will make him realize what he has in me? I miss him so much and he tells me he thinks about me all the time too. Why does he tell me this if he wants to move on with her. Sorry for the messy essay, but I need lots of advice on it all. All angles. I have no one to talk to about this it is so hard. My family love him and it would break their hearts.
Hi there, I don't actually have much to say about it. Sometimes love is not enough, which sucks big time, by the way. Sometimes these little (or huge) fights ruin a relationship, but from what you said, yours doesn't seem to be completely over. If you get back, don't accept to continue your relationship unless he at least tells his family that you're together. They may not accept immediately, but if they see that you're good for him they will accept eventually. good luck
kisses Leandro
ps. - if nothing works (and if you're pretty and living around NY), give me your MSN and maybe we can go for a pint so I can give you some comfort... ;)
Um, I'm reallly, really sorry that all this happened to you, but it seems to me like you probably should have just broken up with him completely when he refused to let his relationship with you out into the open. If his family dislikes you that much, and he wanted to make his family happy, it kind of seems to me like a break up would be inevitable. I think it's completely ridiculous that after a nine year relationship he has decided to fly off to another country to meet with this woman, and honestly, I know you can't control who you love, but this guy does not sound like a very great person. He probably does love you, but he obviously doesn't love you enough to be in a relationship that his family doesn't approve of, and I think you should probably just try your hardest to forget about him, and to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.
Thank you. His family loved me until we broke up in early 2008. We had a nasty break up, I kept it to myself but he went and involved his family and friends. His reasoning was he needed people to talk to, where as I never went and made him look bad to my family and friends because I am not like that and I knew that I didn't want to involve other people incase we decided to reconcile. We were together for 5 years after all. - 2 months ago
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