My ex-boyfriend and I broke up almost 3 years ago from a 3 year relationship. Before our relationship together, we were best friends. While together, we were there for each other through many big, tough, and life altering decisions. He was a part of my family and I was a part of his. We broke up right before his freshmen year of college - within a course of two weeks, the guy I had talked to every day for 3 years, was gone. Over the next 3 years we have talked probably only about 20 times whether it was through email or phone. We have seen each-other to catch up only 5 times. The question I am struggling with, is that after 3 years, I still love him. I am still in-love with him. I have been in several different relationships since and I have had to end them because I just can't feel something for anyone else. My ex-boyfriend throughout the past 3 years, has written on several occasions emails stating that he does not like me and that its hard to be friends because he doesn't feel anything anymore. He had a girlfriend for a year and a half who he broke up with a little while back. He has stated he has moved on. However, we saw each other a few days back to catch up over drinks. It was a nice, relaxing friendly conversation. While we got back to the parking lot, we got into talking about our past. It was a very in-depth conversation...something so open - we hadn't talked this way since we were together. He mentioned how he still thinks about me all the time, how he misses me, and how he still, after all this time, loves me. He also stated that he has called his ex-girlfriend my name on different occasions. He also said that all those emails stating he didn't care or like me was just to try to make himself believe that and to try to hurt me because he was hurting. I just don't know what to do or believe. He went back to college two days ago, and we haven't talked since that night. Is it possible for him to actually still love me after all this time? What should I do next?
After the first few words I read here I came to, "We were best friends" that's a no-no. Come on what were you thinking? You never never never date your best of friends and then try to foul it all up with the love thing is even worse.
I would say you might be stuck here never really knowing anything as in him loving you.
I think it is possible for him to still love the idealized image of the relationship you guys had three years ago. I am sure both of you have changed so much in the past three years that if you got together now it would be a totally different relationship than the one you used to have. Not to say it wouldn't work out because it totally could, and if you want to go for it then do it. The only thing that would keep me from getting back with my ex of 4 years is that he broke up with me to be with another girl. So if that was something like the case with you guys then I wouldn't get back together. I would probably not pursue a long distance relationship with him either. You'd have a better chance of things working out if you were closer together.
It's definitely possible in my opinion. whether that's the case or not, hard to tell. ultimately I think it comes down to talking about it more. probably best to do so when "drinks" aren't involved because drunkeness enhances emotions that, when sober, may not actually carry as much weight as portrayed. I'm a little bit of a romantic, and I like to believe that when you find that special one, no matter what you go through, you'll always end up together. sooner or later. its just a matter of timing. guess some would call it fate or destiny. on the other hand, it seems like you had a serious long-term relationship end rather abruptly, so maybe it's just that neither one of you had the full closure of really being "over". either way, it comes down to talking openly with each other about it. whether it's because that closure needs to be found, or because you two belong together. either way, you need to figure it out. it seems like it would be emotional torture to continue "wondering" rather than lay down the law, take a chance, and get some piece of mind. if it's distance, I don't think long distance means anything when it comes to real love. my story is that my boyfriend and I were friends in high school, moved 100 miles apart, then 900 miles, and didn't talk for about 2 years. we got back in touch and would talk about our relationship issues with who we were dating (because we were both regularly dating other people). we met up rarely over the course of a year or two, but eventually realized we were secretly madly in love with each other, got together, and we've been having a 900 mile relationship for the past year. we see each other maybe every 2-3 months. it hasn't been easy. it's really f*n hard at times to be honest. but I wouldn't be happier any other way. wish you the best. and I hope you figure it out!
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: A month ago
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