Wouldn't saying it make him uncomfortable?

you know what? I have a similar situation like you

I had to move back home for a few months and I told my ex that I will move back in 6 months because I'm only going back to help my dad out because he lost his job. anyway, 2 months before I had to move back I asked him to think about "us" and he just never wanted to talk about it or think about it. so last day of me going away, he bailed last mn and didn't want to do long distance. he gave me all these reasons that was so confusing and I was so hurt.

for a week we didn't speak or msg each other. he would msg here and there. then I broke down and told him how I felt and it feels weird being apart and all that other stuff you say to an ex and that I still wanna be with him.

then he calls me and tells me I'm looking for the one and that feeling was not there. so we started speaking as "friends" but he would treat me the same way as if we were going out and he would come online to talk to me all night and say good night to me. it was driving me insane because he cared and acted like he wanted me.

a month later he came to my town to visit his "friends" but he has no reason to be here so I took it that he missed me and everything because all signs pointed out that he did. so when he arrived he told me and I went and picked him up and we talked for an hour like normal, then I went out and told him how I felt like "i miss you and I still really wanna be with you" and that I will be back in a few months. I kept asking him "are you over this? do you want this to be over because if you do then we need to stop talking to each other to get over it"

i kept asking him that and telling him how I felt and he would ignore my answer or try and change the subject. he kept saying I don't mind being single and I'm not looking for anyone else. so I got the hint and realize he wanted his cake and eat it too. so I told him we have to cut out ties because it hurts me to talk to him and not be with him.

so I drop him off and told him he's gotta delte me on msn and phone and fb

5 hours later he comes and finds me at a club that I was at and came to tell me he missed me and kept saying it over and over but never told me he wanted to be with me. then after that he just left it at that and I was soooo hurt.

He has not delted me from anything. I did it. it drove me nuts for the longest time. I really don't know how he feels ... but its better for your sanity. he has only recently msged me now and that inccident happened two months ago. I'm moving back to where he is in 2 months like I said I would and I think this is the cause for him to msg me. I don't know why he is doing it but I think the best thing I ever did was ignoring him. you should do it too. I'm still heartbroken but I gotta move on .

Prob makes him uncomfortable but he's prob thinking of you. I think you should take into consideration he's trying to be nice. Move on and see how he reacts. If your words didn't reach him you can be happier else where. If your words did reach him he might come back and tell you he missed you and made a mistake.

I've been through a relationship of a year and a half where we broke up and became friends afterwards. I would do what nina88 said and just not talk to him for awhile. Let the feelings pass and maybe you can become friends later. Best of luck!

I wouldn't , work on em hang around with us enough we'll start thinking about you, then you've basically won. getting in our heads is the battle but getting out is almost as hard as getting in.

Read the girl's response. It's right on the mark.

You cannot, I repeat CANNOT be friends with an ex that you're still in love with. It's emotional torture. Tell him that you simply cannot carry on a friendship at this point. If he's not a selfish guy, he'll understand and *actually* give you space. But it sounds like he's getting everything out of the relationship that he wants- doesn't have to commit to you, but gets to see you and talk to you whenever he wants. After you've said your peace, start to cut him from your life. Ex's are just that. No need to keep him around as a reminder. There's millions of fabulous guys out there. Don't hang on to someone who wasn't a proper fit.

You have to put YOUR needs first. Best of luck!

Girlfriend - when a man demotes you into the category of a friend after having a romantic relationship - he's telling you with very little drama HE NOT INTERESTED! So when a man tells you this - you say "NO THANKS" I have enough friends.

Women with dignity and self respect do not allow themselves to be demoted - and when they are (which happens to ALL of us) they DO NOT waste a single minute more on the man.

If he's really wanting more - he's have stayed - and men do not make friend declarations because the really want to be friends with you...they want to be on "friendly" terms so you don't go spewing sh*t about him to anyone...and so they can maintain being "friendly" when you run into each other and he doesn't have to feel guilty and has zero drama.

You be bigger and better - your attitude should be "You don't want me...fine...but I don't have time for you anymore". And stop telling him how you feel. He doesn't want to hear it...that's what I understand means.

Go get you a man who is wild an crazy about you.

BF and gf, after broke up can be friends? I mean that can talk , smile ,act... as normaly as nothing happens before? Really? I never see this in my life, is it possible? I don't know about this.:)

Ok, you are making yourself sound like a stalker! Lighten up, if he wants to be friends then he has told you that he just wants to be friends so why are you telling him that you still love him? You are saying it because you want him to know that you still have the same feelings for him that you always have. BUT, Listen, when a guy says that he wants to be friends then you now fall into the category of a phone call once in a while, a forwarded email or text and we'll hang out with mutual friends couple times a month. You are not dating and he is trying not to hurt your feelings but you keep insisting that he does in order for you to get it. Let it go and move on, yall may become friends after you get over him. Hope this helps! Much love and wish you luck!

He says he understands because its his way of respectfully pushing you away. My ex use to come to me and told me he still loved me, and I would respond with "I understand", or just ignore him, hoping he would get the message. The fact that he's not entertaining what your saying shows that he is serious about his decision, for now at least. Most guys don't realize what they have lost until later on after you have gotten over them. I would say it is making him uncomfortable, based on his reactions(ignoring it, or saying I undertsand). My opinion would be to take time for yourself, stop talking to him for now and focus on you. Telling him how much you still love him and want to be more than friends is only going to push him away. Its impossible to be "freinds" with an ex, and not get hurt, when one or both people still have feelings for the other.

The whole idea of ex's being friends is not based on realistic expectations. That eventually divorced couples with children can be friendly, sure, but the overall concept that everyone who breaks up should be friends is a bad one. And why? Because it creates situations like this.

I know the reason so many people try to remain friends afterward. It softens the blow of a break-up to tell someone, hey I don't want to be your boyfriend/girlfriend anymore but let's be friends. And being able to be friendly versus being spiteful, well that is valuable.

In the end when two people break up, often it is because at least one person is sincerely not interested in being together and often the other person is crushed, even if somewhere deep inside you know it is for the best. It still hurts. Sometimes you don't even agree it is for the best. So here you are still in love with him and telling him that while supposedly being "friends". You are not friends. You are still in love, he is not, and he is trying to be polite and patient. Eventually he may be pushed to tell you to stop saying that but on your own you should stop. In fact, you should take a break from contact with him until you can grieve the loss of this relationship and be prepared to move on. Until that happens you really cannot be friends.

yes...but he was prob. trying to respect your feelings too. Which is why he wouldn't say don't say that. But from the I understand he is saying, I see where your coming from and I respect your feelings, but def. not saying, I am happy with you feeling that. I think he is trying to be nice about it all and help you through your difficult time.

From my experience honey, his response or lack thereof is his way of trying to let go. Since you've already told him, then he knows how you feel. Be content with that. If he wants to go, let him go. Normally, I'd say 'Fight for him!' but you can't change a person. You've done all you can; now you can just be a friend to him and the very best.