Could he end up wanting me back?

No, he will not want you back. He has cheated on you. You would be a fool to keep him after he has left you for another woman. Move on to better fields, you will find your true love there.

Fiance for 9 years? Be glad you didn't marry this jerk.

His new interest will get what she deserves.

Judgmentally,

Ted

men have bad communication skills, we generally sum up the negatives & base a selfish opinion or decision upon it. 9 years is a long time in a relationship & I sincerely hope there is no children involved. No doubt he will regret his actions , guilt will feed his passion initially until he feels the strain he felt with you. He has not dealt with reoccurring stress & anxiety, confusion will set in & the cycle starts again. My advice to you would be to move on, but take up new sports or activities, & wait for him, he will come, but will never change until he gets councsilling . until then he will act on his feelings wich is how he strayed from a formed relationship. Would very much think that he has been cheating, or looking for a way out for some time. Change yourself for the better, when you say goodbye to him, you will be a different person & success is the best revenge. Good luck.

Whether he wants you back or not will be up to you.. I know this sound strange at the moment but let me finish. He didn't stay with you for nine years because you loved him and it made you happy, he stayed with you for nine years because he loved you and you've made him happy.

The real question you should be asking yourself is do you really want him back after what he did? For him to do something like this after nine years is just terrible. The best advice I can give you if you want him back is to initiate "no contact" with him and do not stay friends. Back yourself away and let him think about what he did.

if that bastard did this to you in the first place then he is a worthless piece of crap, and you don't want him!

Do not seek out any more details about his new relationship. It's only going to hurt you. Girlfriend - where have all your real girlfriends been for the last nine years? Let's be honest here - you've known there was a problem with this guy for a long time - at least since the 5 year mark...because that's when women do a mental assessment of "where am I in my relationship and is it going anywhere". And you made a decision to hang onto the relationship for the sake of not being without one... Can you honestly tell me you were surprised by any of this? If so - then he's not the problem - you are. You're living your life without purpose if you were surprised. I'm saying all this in the kindest way - you deserve a committed and full relationship with someone who is emotionally available... please, please, please - move on now. Nine years is a long time to wait.

So my advice is you give yourself a minimum of one year of ME time...work on you and being alone and happy with yourself so you can get back in touch with who you are and what your worthy of - then you'll be ready for another relationship. Buy a plant and nurture it - reminding yourself each day that you as an individual need nurturing every day.

Last - even thought it seems like you are going mad right now - your not. What you are doing is allowing you mind to be obsessive and overly emotional about what you didn't get in your life and this makes you feel wounded. My advice - stop dwelling on what didn't happen the way you wanted it to - and stop dwelling on what did happpen with him as you can't change that. Dwell instead on doing for you - making yourself happy and whole.

you really need to respect yourself enough to not wait around for him. you gave him 9 years of your life, don't give him another minute.

it's possible that he may end up wanting you back, but the real question is, would you want him back?
someone who has treated you so badly, not even owning up to his part in the breakup, doesn't deserve your forgiveness in my opinion. I would say that moving on with your life, like he has done with his is the best option for you.
good luck
becky

My man of 9 years left me too and he has yet to come back and it's been 8 months...I would say to you though that it is probably going to depend on how you handle this break up as to whether you have a shot at getting him back...i handled mine in the "psycho ex" way and I have probably pushed him away and made the person I love hate me...so I would say that it is possible if you don't do the wrong things early in the break up...also it is probably a rebound...some rebounds do start before the previous relationship is actually over...it is probably not going to last between the two of them but the short term outcome could be up to you, meaning that if you push and push for them to not be together you are going to push them closer together...trust me I KNOW...so let it run it's course...and if and when he wants to come back you may have decided by then that if he would leave you that easily that time then what is going to stop him next time...good luck to you and your situation...keep us posted..