This guy John was in love with me a few year ago, I blew him off for another guy but I realized that he was good to me and I wanted to take a chance with him again. So I did but 2 years later.
I was with john for a couple months and told his friend he's ready to settle down with me. But all of a sudden something happened and for months we were on and off "dating" because one week he'd like me and the next he wasn't sure. 1 year later he went for another girl and I left him be. He was official with her for a few weeks and broke it off and came back to me.
He followed me around the whole night and we went back to my place and did NOTHING but cuddle, which was perfect because he didn't try anything with me. However I think it's gonna be another episode of what it was, but I was wondering what are things that turn a guy attracted to a girl, maybe some tips to get him to want to stick around? I'm not asking for ways to make him stay, just some helpful hints.
This reminds me of an episode of "felicity" in which she tried to follow a list from one of those girl magazines to keep her boyfriend. The morale was of course that she shouldn't do that and in the end only by being herself did she get the guy. Now, that's tv bs and generally it's only by twisting yourself around that you can keep an otherwise distant guy around.
But you still shouldn't do it. The reason being that you'll end up endlessly caught in that web. Whenever you have to change yourself to make someone like you, there's a chance of long term failure. Now it isn't always the case, nor an argument for a take me as I am always thing, but when you are dealing with someone who is already running hot and cold, the truth is that he lacks that ability to handle a real relationship within himself. The only way to compensate for that is by selling your own emotional needs short.
If a guy demanded that you change a negative habit to a positive one to be with him, then that type of change is fine. But anything that compels you to sell out an emotional desire will hurt you in the long run.
The short term answer to keep him around is to make things as convenient as possible for him and to allow him to define the parameters of the relationship as he sees fit. But then what are you keeping around? Is it worth it? If so, just be careful with your heart.
I have an ex. We were together for a long time. He broke up with me for another girl. He said it wasn't, but it was. He wants to stay good friends so...
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