A bit of a long story but me and my ex split up 2 months ago but it seems she is playing mind games but says she doesn't want to be with me! We were together for nearly four years, I'm 28 and she's 21, we lived together and got on really well in four years, we never argued and had loads in common, we went on holiday and when we came back she started working for the police, we were getting on well but when she finished her training we started to drift apart, little things like she always texted me when I left to work that she loved me but this became less frequent and she started going out more with her friends which I didn't have a problem but she didn't seem to want to do anything special with me, this made me insecure and I told her things weren't right between us but she kept telling me that everything was ok then out of the blue she told me that she couldn't see a future with me anymore and that she was going back to her mums. We met a few times after sorting post and moving her stuff from the house and she seemed really upset, she told me she thought it was for the best but that she loved me lots, she then told me that she didn't think I would want kids or think about marriage one day and I reassured her that I wanted all of that, I did accuse her of seeing somebody else because it was the only reason I could see been plausible. She still had a picture up of me next to her bed for a couple of weeks after we split up and her mum told me she was just locking herself away from everything, I at the time thought I'd give her some space and probably made out I was getting on better than I was. Then a few weeks later her status's on Facebook seem to be trying to make me jealous by going on about all her plans, writing stuff on peoples wall when they were online on chat! She even went to see my mum when we split and when I see her she always looked un happy and moaned she wasn't sleeping well and just wanted to clear her head, she even told me she didn't want to see anybody for at least two years! I texted her one day and told her that I still missed her lots and that I'd love her back in my life and never got a reply! I decided the best thing at the time was to delete her as a friend on Facebook to make it easier for me not to know what she was up to but never got any response. I made a mistake one night when we went out and sent her a couple of abusive texts which I was well out of order for but I emailed her the day after and apologized and told her that I'd delete her number so I wouldn't do this again, still no reply! then a few days later she popped to see a good mate of mine and told him that she loved me still but needs to figure her head out what she wants and told him that she was there if I needed her, she didn't particularly like my mate when we were seeing each other, I emailed a few days later to c if she was OK but no reply! I know I need to move on but is there a chance she still wants me and is having regrets...she is v stubborn!
she misses you. but she also loves the freedom. in any relationship you lack complete freedom, and face it that's tough for anyone. she wants you and wants her own life. istruggle with the same problem. I want my sons father in my life. for me and for my son but I also want my ex boyfriend. I want what we had I want that exciting life him and I shared back in exchange for the life I have. sometimes it goes away, sometimes its strong. she's never going to be what it is you want until she can settle down. she may had been settled down with you in the past but there is a possibility that that is the reason she bailed. she was suffocated...give her time and ask her questions relevant to what I advised you on.. maybe it helps. maybe she might think you finally understand where she is coming from. I am her age and seemingly have a lot of the same traits you explain her to be having.. good luck. and hey if you could answer my question. it was recently asked, "Do you think he still cares?" anonymous.. thanks a bunch!
Thanks for the advice it sounds about right, I will give her space and time will tell, I just don't like the mind games we were both playing because it upsets us both, I have given you some advice on your problem - A month ago
Yes, lots of head games. But it sounds more like you were playing them than she. Right? You said you deleted her Facebook so you wouldn't see what she's up to. That's good man, seriously, that helps a lot. But, BUT, then you said you got no reply. Which leads me to think you were trying to get some kind of reaction as well by doing so. Not cool. Come on.
And then the angry texts? Almost as if you want a reaction any way you can get it. Whether it be from something sweet or mean. She's trying to figure things out. Cute girl posted below is right. Let her breathe. I feel that she DOES want to setttle down, but just not yet. And being with you, is settling down. She has no other option if she goes back to you. Not that it's a bad thing.
She's not trying to lead you on. Thus her non replies. Probably doesn't want to say something hateful or something she's not ready to do. Relax. Stop crowding. Understand that she isn't going to text you back for a little while. There could be someone else. I've known women who've acted the same way right before they left the guy. But if you show her you are a better man, better man meaning not being childish and sending angry texts, needy texts, or any game playing. She will notice. Time is the last you want, I know, but give it time. You might find someone your own age. Might help.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: A month ago
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