Ok so my ex boyfriend contacted me a few weeks ago and told me how much he missed me and still loved me but wanted to take things slow this time around. Things were really great for 2 weeks and he would hold me until we fell asleep and we would talk all day everyday. Well last week we were chatting on instant messenger and he made a comment about how I hang out with white trash and never learn so I got upset and pretty much threw it in his face about how he slept with someone white trash while we were broken up (we had only been broken up for 2 months). He told me he knew it was a bad idea trying "us" again because we both had cross the line and he shouldn't of went against his instincts.
Well the next couple days after that we would talk but not like before, maybe one or two texts a day. We both ended up going to the same club 2 days after this incident and we were dancing but it wasn't like before, he was a little distant. Well he got mugged that night so he asked me to stay with him because he was a little shook up. I spent the night with him but he never made a move on me but still had his arms around me all night. He told me that he was still a little hurt about what was said and it's going to take some time to get things back the way they were if that can happen but he is trying to be friends with me right now.
The next morning we said goodbye and he thanked me for staying because it was comforting having me there. I asked him the next night what he meant by "trying to be friends with me" and he said he is trying to be nice to me but that doesn't mean we have broken through the events that happened. Well the next couple days it was back to the texting once or twice a day.
Today my phone died on me so he offered to give me an extra phone he had and I thanked him. His response was " I may not like you sometimes but I would never leave you out in the cold". I responded with " I don't know how to respond to that, I guess thank you". He responded with " what I meant was, just because it seems like we may not be able to be together doesn't mean I am going to be a total asshole to you". Well I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he needs time and not have any expectations placed on him right now. He said that I seem to be putting my eggs in one basket and it makes him feel awkward. He said that I seem like I am counting on us getting back together.
So my question is. Can that screw up I did be fixed and is there any hope at all? It hurts to be so close to having what we had and to just lose it all over one thing said out of anger, and yes I apologized many times.
Update: Well it's officially over now and I am devastated again, he told me this morning we both need to move on and told me not to settle for less than I deserve when dating someone else. If I am so great in his eyes, why doesn't he want to be that someone for me?
7 months ago
Since you were both a little at fault here, the only way to get through this is to talk to him without being judgmental. You guys will never get back together until you bury the past, and quit hurting each other. Just keep talking to him!
When he said that I seem to be putting all my eggs in this basket do you think he is telling me to date other people? He told me he isn't even close to ready to date yet, not even with me. Also, he had told me before all this that if I am dating other people that he is going to back off because he doesn't compete - 7 months ago
Yes I believe in saying you are putting all your eggs in one basket ,he is telling you to let go of the relationship, to stop putting sooo much effort into it. Maybe he feels you are concentrating too much time on this and not enough time on yourself. But really you are the best judge of that after all you know him better than we do - 7 months ago
I agree with hottotrot. I am going through a weird break type of thing too right now, and just like you, I am very confused. Just give him some space and let him get over his issues himself. No break-up is just one person's fault. Many men try to put the blame on us, when in fact, they have made mistakes along the way too. We just usually put up with them.
Hang in there. You have apologized and that's all you can do at this point.
Well lost and confused. I really think that he was just as much at fault as you were because he was very rude in saying you have "white Trash" as friends. To pin this breakup of sorts on you is unfair and to be quite frank just a guilt trip. In my experience usually a guy who says he needs time with no expectations wants his cake and to eat it too. If he really loved you he wouldn't treat you emotionally like this. I don't think you screwed up at all in defending your friends and if he walks away from something so great over something so stupid than that's his problem. There are plenty of guys out there that would love a devoted women like you. Take some time reflect on what you want and in the meantime don't be afraid to date or speak your mind.
asked Yesterday
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
