I am currently in a relationship with a girl whom used to be my best friend but we made the mistake to kiss and have sex and so she started growing feelings for me and in the end I realized that what we had was clearly more than friendship so we got together.
However, I had my reasons for being reluctant to start this relationship. I have so much trouble getting over my past two girlfriends and I felt like I wanted time to process everything and be happy by myself and then wait for someone whom I feel was a great match for me. I really never imagined my friend was this person. Even though I really really care about her and we do share something more than friendship, every time I see or hear about something relating to my exes it really makes me sad and I am still looking at so many girls just as if I were still looking for this 'great match' that I was looking for. I know it's normal to look at other girls but I mean the way I do it it's almost like I'm forgetting I am in a relationship which in my view is not something good.
I care so much about this girl especially in terms of friendship, and I feel like she has a lot of trouble and needs my help and support and I feel like if I do something like breaking up or taking space her situation will get worse and I don't want my own incertitude to have negative effects on her life.
My questions are, am I right to be in this relationship? Or should I not be in it? What should I do about our relationship and how should I do it?
I think its wrong. There is a difference between looking at girls and thinking "damn she's hot," and looking at girls and thinking, "I wonder if she's the one," when you're in a relationship. You care about this girl, but it sounds like you don't like her as much as you should. You're looking for something better. Something more. It doesn't mean she's not special to you as a friend, but she's not your dream girl. Go find her.
I know but she really likes me a lot and I really don't want to break her heart, it's not like I don't like her, I do, but like you said I feel like I don't like her enough. It's a tricky situation I think, there's a lot at stake when something gives you their heart and trust, and especially if you like them as well but just think it's not enough... don't you think the decision as to what to do is complicated? - 4 months ago
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I meant 'when *someone* gives you their heart and trust' of course. - 4 months ago
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When: 4 months ago
Yikes on the questions...no one can tell you if you are right or not to be in this relationship or what you should do, if you have to ask that question you already know what the answer is. It seems to me like you want someone to tell you that its ok to not be with her, I'm so not judging you on that because I did it myself. As for your questions, I don't know this girl but from the sound of it on your end, you shouldn't be with her if your still looking for the "great match". Some people will tell you in life that all men and women look at other men or women besides their bf, gf, husband, or wife, that's not always true, I never did but my ex-husband did and that's why he's the "ex"-husband lol. Any way if your still looking you should tell this other girl so that she can get on with her own life and find the "great match" for herself. :) Good Luck and I hope this helps.
Mmh yes eventually I need to tell her because I know I need to be honest with her but... I do not want to break her heart in any way and I like her too, she just likes me a lot and I think I don't like her enough. But she wants to be with me, even before we got together when I told that I didn't feel that way for her, she asked me if I thought there was a chance that I'd ever change my mind, and I told her she shouldn't be waiting around for me and find someone better for her, and yet after that - 4 months ago
Question Asker
She told her friends she decided to keep trying and wait for me nonetheless... I feel like if I like her too then there is something in this relationship, and I care so much about her I don't want to hurt her. That's why it's not an easy situation, but thank you for the support and the advice, I know it's not the best situation to be in and it makes you feel bad... :/ - 4 months ago
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When: 4 months ago
When: 4 months ago
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