This is a tough one. I'd been going out with a girl for a year and a half and on the 2nd of feb it all went tits up. We had both gone out on the lash that night and we had a row and she left me to make my own way home. I had to go to her flat to get my keys and in blind rage I grabbed her and pushed her into the bath. Now your probably thinking( what a tosser! ) and rightly so. The thing is I'm not a violent person and never been in trouble before. I'm a decent bloke and love the girl to bits. She finished with me and three days later I text her to apologize and asked if I could see her in a few weeks time. She said she would. I couldn't leave it though and would text or ring her all the time. On valentines day she was ringing my doorbell at two o clock in the morning pissed up. Because I was on sleeping tablets I didn't hear the doorbell and the next day she text to say sorry for coming round. Then on the saturday night she phoned me" pissed again" in the early hours. I went round and spent the night there thinking that she wanted me again. The next morning though she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to a relationship. In the last few weeks we had been seeing each other a couple of times a week and getting on really well again. Last thursday we spent the night together and then on the saturday she phoned me to say she had slept with someone else on the friday night. This really hurt and I feel like she's been using me for sex until someone else comes along. She has a bit of history when it comes to sleeping with fellas and this always made me feel paranoid.
I know that she hadn't cheated on me before but I couldn't help think that whenever she was out with her mates she would be revealing in male attention. When she gets drunk she hasn't a clue what she's doing and this used to worry me a hell of a lot. I still really love her despite what she did but feel like she's playing me because of the way I've been acting with her ie, being all needy and upset, groveling,phoning her all the time and just been to clingy. I'm now gonna keep my distance from her A, because I think she's seeing this fella now and B, because I feel like I'm pushing her away even further by sounding desperate. Anyone got any suggestion on how to win back her affections?
I'm sure your a great guy. I'm sure she's a great girl but I don't think you should even bother trying to win her back you deserve better but you have to keep what ever anger you may have in check or that'll cause a lot of problems for you. Well good luck have a great life with or without her
I don't think you can win her back, nor should you attempt to. It sounds to me like you could both use some counseling.
You pushed her into the tub! I don't care how drunk you were, or how angry, and I can't imagine anyone else reading this and saying "oh, but he said he's a decent guy, so. "
It's not okay, and you need to figure out what's going on with yourself before you try to enter into another relationship. Your neediness, your willingness to accept her bad behavior, and your own physical behavior all need to be addressed with a professional.
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: More than a year ago
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