We dated for 1.5 years. It was pretty serious. He says he doesn't love me anymore, doesn't know why. If that's true, he fell out of love with me in 3 weeks, which I find hard to believe. We've been apart now 2 months.
If not loving me is the case: 1. Why did he tell a friend that IF we got back together, he could see us married? 2. Why is he friendly to me, (says Hi, tries to smile)? 3. Why has he asked about my mom and brother's birthdays? 4. Why did he send me a text last night that said he played a game against a guy that looked like my dad? 5. I told him stringing me along would be a douche bag move and he cried (took it as me calling him a douche bag) 6. Apologized to me on aim for what he has put me through, says nobody understand him like I do and he misses that, but obviously not enough cuz...
He doesn't seem like he wants to get back together. And besides, he flat out told me he doesn't love me and we're never getting back together. But it seems like a lot of the stuff above wouldn't have happened if that were true.
Update: We play co-ed football. 4 of us walk to games together, the 2 others couldn't today. My ex texted that he'd come get me and walk with me anyway. After the game he waited for me, but didn't talk much. Maybe he just didn't want me walking alone in the dark?
16 days ago
Update: It was just my ex and I walking to and from the game. I thought it was weird he wanted that. And I thought it was weird that he didn't say much on the way back. So, maybe he just cared for my safety? And it doesn't mean anything?
16 days ago
he does not love you .. if he did he would not say that and shows no sign of regret .. if he loved you he would have told you he didn't mean it and showed it.. move on and sorry
Men tend to be resistant to love, a lot more so than women. You should assume that your guy misses some things about you, probably has mixed feelings about leaving, but probably isn't in love with you. It probably has as much to do with his fear of commitment as anything else. It's not you that's the problem, at any rate. Live your life and try not to obsess over him, or you could cause this fizzled out relationship to ruin future ones. Keep busy. Pick up a hobby or something. Be willing to let it go and move on. If he is the one, maybe he'll come around. Any way, if you play into his apparent wishy-washyness, it'll cause him to play "Keep Away", which makes you look pathetically desperate.
It seems to me that your guy is suffering from commitment issues. Sure, he likes or even really does love you a lot but maybe he thinks things are starting to move just a little to fast. Was there anything you may have done for him to feel this way? You should talk to him about the issues that he may have with you from your relationship with him in the past.
Also when he tells you something that is bothering him, try not to justify or defend it, just listen to what he has to say.
I was always the one who didn't want to think about marriage, and definitely not kids. I wanted to travel after college. So there wasn't pressure from me.
I do think something that may have pushed him away was that he might have stopped telling me when things bugged him about me or us. Because sometimes I would get defensive or pout. And I think maybe he started to bury it all.
But that wouldn't make him fall out of love with me would it? And that wouldn't make him fear commitment would it? - 23 days ago
Answerer
I think maybe just maybe there was a lack of love in things. It is much eaiser to love the thought of what two people could become then it is to love that other person for everything that makes them up as a person.
I have always said that you will know you are in love when intemacy is more important then desire and maybe you have to ask yourself that same question. - 23 days ago
Hmmm.. that's a little confusing. I think he just doesn't know what he wants. Obviously, he has feelings for you, even if he tries to conceal it by saying he doesn't..If I were you I would be careful though. These guys seemm to like to play head games with us cause they're morons lol..but I can tell by those 6 points you have said that he is still concerned with you and your life, if he wasn't he would make an attempt to contact you, say hi or inquire about you family. Maybe in time youse will get back together. Good luck!
She was involved with this man for 16 years. I hope you noticed that I .used the term 'involved' and not 'married.' They have 5 children together (I know, it's pathetic). They originally hooked up in 1993. Although he broke up with her 6 months ago, he confessed to her that he actually fell out of love with her in 1994. A year after they hooked up. I know you're probably thinking {like all of us were} "Why continue to have multiple children and stay in a relationship with someone you're no longer in love with?" It's simple. For him it was convenience, 'free sex,' back-up (just in case his other alternative choices didn't work out), and a pyschological advantage. In some sick, distorted way, he needs to know that he can have you anytime he wants to! But a union based on lack of respect never lasts. Eventually he will grow restless of this routine and will simmer with resentment towards you.
Do not drive yourself crazy asking all sorts of questions of whether or not he still loves you. He doesn't love you! This is all you need to know. If you keep giving yourself excuses (pros) as to why you think he still loves you, then you will end up like my friend...SINGLE and PATHETIC! She spends a considerable amount of energy trying to persuade us that she still thinks he loves her! RIIIIIIIGHT!
1. He could see you two married but still wanting to look for a better choice, but if he never finds another person,he could settle with you, which sounds silly cause you don't wanna be a back up. 2.maybe you were a good girlfriend which doesn't give him a reason to treat you badly and he wants to keep you as a friend 3.he is just being friendly and maybe he really cared about you 4.he still thinks of you and wants you to know that you re still on his mind although you guys broke up 5.i hate it when guys cry over stupid stuff cause what you re saying is true he shouldnt do that but maybe he is just too sensitive... 6.telling you that he misses you doesn't mean that he wants to be with you, he could be missing being around you or being understood easily without actually writting and spelling every word he says to people.
If I were you I would do one thing ,honestly, cause I know how hard it could be to be still attached to a person who doesn't seem to notice you or what you do.
I would do this: Next time he calls you,sms you or whatever. just tell him that: I don't appreciate what you re doing, I don't want to be hanging like that, playing with my like a yo yo , saying that you miss me and those things you say to me isn't gunna help me to get over you. I do love you but I don't want to be an option. If you don't know what you really want in life maybe you should just take some time off and disappear for a while untill you actually know what you really want, make up your mind about what you want cause I really don't appreciate this childish hot and cold act you re doing. Am a person and I have feelings, the best way to get over the amazing relationship we had is to be apart and let go. I don't mind waiting for you to make up your mind but just know I won't be here for too long...i will move on, evantually. so once you actually DECIDE what's best for you and make up your mind about what you really want, till then, we could actually either be just friends or back together...so id really appreciate it if you don't conact me again.
Remember the saying, If you love a bird let go, if it comes back to you, you know then that's its a keeper! Full Stop!
I kinda did tell him that. That was when I told him stringing me along is a douche move. I told him he was giving me mixed signal and he can't do that.
He said he didn't realize he was, and he would stop.
Now, he just nice to me. Doesn't go out of his way or anything. I don' really know what to do.
It's just so hard for me to believe he fell out of love with me in such a short amount of time. - 24 days ago
Answerer
Well I would reasure him and tell him again and ask him not to call unless its extremely important cause in order to get over him you shouldnt talk. lovers cannot become friends! - 24 days ago
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When: 24 days ago
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