Could you forgive someone for "cheating"?

I think forgiving him and taking him back creates a "moral hazard". If this is normal, then if a boyfriend wants to have sex with another girl, all he has to do is start a fight, break up, have sex with the other girl and then come back and ask the girlfriend for forgiveness.

Anyone who suddenly breaks up and immediately has sex with another person can be considered a cheater if he wants to come back to the relationship. If he does not come back and becomes the boyfriend of the other girl, then it can be considered a preplanned break up and he was already cheating before the break up, even if not physically.

Break up with him. Make sure you tell about this to your next boyfriend so that he knows the consequences.

ok yea.. I read this..but it really honestly wasent cheating if yall broke up.. I know what you mean though.. he was getting over you inless then 24 hrs or trying.. so don't take him back.. I f you do you won't be able to trust him or anything.. and what if he got an STD from that chick.. ar you willing to get it? because she's probley a ho.. because she gave her self up in 24 hrs or less and imagine how many other times it happend.. and tell him no.. because you evidently didn't care about me because you tried to get over me in 24 hrs..

Before I knew girls would sometimes break up with you without actually wanting to break up, if I love her, and she told me she never wants to see me again, just hearing those words from her would tear me up inside. I would be a mess, if a girl came onto me, I probably just go with it, I know it would make me forget about you quicker.

I wouldn't be so foolish anymore.

I think he must really love you if he has been turn down for an entire month but keeps coming back.

I know if I had done that, I would never hurt you like that again. But your boyfriend is not me. You know him better then anyone else on this site. It's up to you, if you can look pass it or not. Don't fool yourself, and get back together before you have forgiven him, I would think that would be a huge mistake. If you can't forgive him then the relationship is over.

I tried to do it, she accused me of cheating to turn the tables a bit of course it wasn't true because I can't do that stuff. It was hard to say "okay you screwed some guy unprotected and I forgive you for it even though I went down on you the day after and you said you were so in love with me and I tucked you in the night that you did that to me" It really messed with me. I know she may not have meant to do it to hurt me but she still made that choice and that is why I decided we can't be together. I tried to forget it. I forgave but I couldn't forget and the cat just got too fat. I had to say goodbye for the final time.

That's a rough situation. I'm sorry =( But to answer your question, I have been cheated on three times. I became friends with one of them again but still don't trust a word she says. Still haven't forgiven any of them

Never cheat back, its immature and wrong, on another note they say once a cheater always a cheater. I don't believe it but still he screwed you over and needs to learn he can't get away with it, move on. If he loved you, it wouldn't of happened to begin with.

Forgiving is not the question. THe real question is could you ever give that person your full trust again?

The answer is NO. Trust is the hardest thing to earn. You can spend a lifetime building trus in another person only to loose it all in a second.

Once lost it can NEVER be completely regained!

well swetty that dud does not know what he is measing from my past experiance my x girl friend cheted on me with some dud from another town. I told her I would give her another chane so yeah I think you should give that dud another chane couse you still like him

Once a cheater always a cheater there's no going back.

I did.

its not cheating if you have broken up, it may not even be love, but just a poor means of easing the pain of a breakup.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are different. Most people fail to distinguish this difference, and cause themselves a lot of trouble.

Forgiveness is for someone who's been hurt -- it's for their own benefit so they don't get stuck in anger and resentment for the rest of their lives. You can forgive as the first step towards reconciliation. Or you can forgive as a way to lock the door and throw away the key. "I forgive you. Good bye, and have a good life."

Reconciliation is when you re-establish a relationship with someone who's wronged you.

Having established that distinction, allow me to address your specific situation. Are you familiar with the concept of the "letter of the law" and the "spirit of the law"? Letter of the law is the technical rule, spirit of the law is the more ethical/moral concept behind the law.

I think your boyfriend didn't break the letter of the law -- you and him were broken up. But I do think he broke the spirit of the law (so to speak).

If I broke up with a girl after a fight, and I learned that she'd slept with another guy within 24 hours, I'd consider it a revenge-screw to get back at me. And I'd consider it an insult.

So I vote for cutting this guy from your life.

It pretty common for guys and girls to have sex right after the break-up because of how upset they were and they wanted to take their anger and frustration out on something. A lot of people who do this trully do regret it and always wish they could take it back. Being technical with this he's not really considered a "cheater" since you two did break up and then he had the sex. I'm sure you feel betrayed but if he is trully worth it then yes I would say take him back but if not then obviously not.
Best Of Luck

yes but ask him why he cheated.
if its unrelated to you then he'll probably do it again.
if it was related to you then ask how you can fix the
problem to resolve the relationship between you two

depends. Technicall it was cheating. But if yall re one of those couples that break up for a few dayz and gett back together than it was. all depends on how yall operate.

I have been where you are... I had 2 ex's who had cheated on me... and once the trust is broken NO MATTER WHAT THERE IS NO GETTING THAT BACK... NONE... NO GETTING IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND IT IS A VICIOUS... VICIOUS... VICIOUS CYCLE! If he has cheated on you once he will do it again... and again! Once you have forgiven him he will do it again and expect you to forgive him again! And you will do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO DO WHAT YOU CAN TO PREVENT HIM FROM IT AND DO WHAT YOU CAN TO BE THE ONLY ONE... AND IT WILL DO NOTHING BUT DRIVE YOU CRAZY! TRUST IS THE BASIS OF ANY RELATIONSHIP AND ONCE THAT IS GONE THE RELATIONSHIP IS GONE! you will question his every move, action, intention... etc... no matter how much you love him you need to think is this really worth it and how will you ever heal? I hope for the best for you and hope that you make the best decision for you... and hope that my advice helps you... GOOD LUCK!

nope. never in a million years

depends what his past behavior has been like, does he flirt with other girls a lot? does he have suspicious messages on his social networking sites? has he been trustworthy in the past? did he fulfill YOUR needs in the relationship, or did he let you do most of the work, and just do enough to keep you around? if all of these answers are in his favor, then the incident could simply have been his way of coping. I know for people that would never do this probably find it hard to believe it's a form of coping, but it's true. some people drink, some people punch and break things, others have sex.

I couldn't. I would have trust issues and resentment for him for the rest of our time together. Only way I think anybody could ever forgive cheating is by deluding themselves in some way or just never caring about the relationship in the first place.

When you are looking at the difference between the mind of men and women, there are usually a difference on the meaning of sex. You had broken up, so he didn't really cheat on you, but this will still feel like a big betrayal of your trust in him. The only question you really need to ask yourself is if you could ever trust him again. If the answer is no, then the relationship will never last, if the answer is yes with time, then slow steps in regaining that relationship and building trust may be the answer. I have been there before, I took the steps and we are now married, and have never been happier. It can go both ways but a lot of dedication and openness is required. Best of luck.

Technically it's not considered cheating since you 'broke up'. And yes I have to agree with many of the people that it was probably due to his lack of judgement and a way to 'feel better' (a way to get back at you) by banging some random chick (or any chick whether she be your friend or whatnot). I knew of a person like this. It's like making out with some random person after a break up and then realizing what you have done and you feel bad. It's stupid but people do this. Unfortunately he should have thought it through and would have better respect on himself, to you and to this friend of a friend (etc). He basically just used her.

It does cause a lot of resentment and anger and betrayal on your part. I know I would definitely be p*ssed! I actually am at my own ex... we're not together officially but we still are 'together' if that makes sense (we still date, love, etc without the label). And when I found out about him, he wasn't 'cheating' but it's a big sign that people can be dogs (not just men... women do this too) and should just make up their mind and choose one person to kiss, etc.
Now it's your decision to take him back or not but I think you need to think it through. Tell him you feel unsure and you need time to forgive him. That is when you should decide if you really want to take him back for doing that (and you should stop breaking up so he won't be confused whether he can do crap like that) and for any of the fights you have.

When you feel like you can forgive is when you feel you can accept what happened and I guess feel 'indifferent' that it was a mistake. You have to know it was your own fault for breaking up with him and agreeing with it to lead him to do that. Be CAREFUL with your words. I always did this with my own man (tell him I wanted a break up... and then regret saying it). It's very misleading and hurtful even though you feel like you have the upperhand. That's what leads to a real mess and you can definitely regret it.

You may not trust him right now or ever... that's when maybe you should let him go. But if you think you can eventually trust him slowly (it would definitely take time and if he seems sincerely like he wants to be forgiven then you probably should forgive him if you want him) and you guys can change your problems over time... I'd take him back and give him another chance.

If you broke up with him, it's not cheating.

If you love him, give him another chance. After all, it could be a worse situation.

Move on. He does it once he'll do it again.

yes...its ok to do it, but only if it feels right. I can tell you for me it ended badly, with him telling me he cheated on me multiple times after I refused to get back together with him after one infidelity. So yeah, just follow your heart, but there is nothing wrong with second chances.

forgive and forget because onedaY it can be you in his place and you will want forgiveness too
a similar thing happened to me I learnrd I have to forgive to be forgiven.i use to go by this rule:
"the stupid niether forgive or forget , the naive forgive and forget the wise forgive but do not forget."
thomas szaz
but then :
"anger makes you smaller while forgiving forces you to grow beyond what you were"

but then I really understood that if I forgive I will always be forgiven.

your choice goodluck

u broke up with him that's not "cheating"
i always forgave my ex for the things he did to me but I've never forgotten the pain he put me through

If you broke up it wasn't cheating. Some guys do that to try to forget about the pain of the breakup. We eat Ben & Jerrys, they f*** random girls

Depends on the circumstance. In this case, he was hurt that you broke up with him, so that's why he did it. Its pretty understandable because sometimes people don't want to feel the pain of a breakup so they quickly hook up with someone else. In this case I think you guys should just move and forgive obvious he is crazy about you and stop breaking up!