out of the blue, my boyfriend ends it with no real explanation?Everything was fine between us until March this year when his job was relocated to London City and he started going out every weekend, on 2/3 occasions he would not call and his phone would be off. The next morning he would come in about 10/11am and be all happy telling me what clubs him and his colleagues went too! He went on a Management course in York and because one of the directors of the company couldn't make it he said that he had asked some colleagues to go out for a drink in London and a hotel was prebooked. On the Wednesday he said he wanted 2b on his own as it was 4 the best but said he still loves me and cares 4 me. He didn't move out till the Friday and did not take EVERYTHING, he said he might be come back if ne heeds anything else. He gave me a cuddle and couple of kisses and said he would think about us and coming back. That night he would not answer my calls but was texting me. Saturday, Sunday & Mon we were talking and on the Monday his nan was diagnosed with cancer, I told him to keep me updated which he did and she died on the Wednesday. I told him I love him and he went quiet I said 'i love you as a friend and more' he said 'i love you as a friend too'. Since Wednesday evening he ain't called me or replied to my text cos I asked him for my stuff back. I just don't know what to do or think. I'm so confused, is this definately it or is there a chance he is seeing if there is anything better and will come bk if not as he knows I would take him back with open arms. If I hadn't taken my door key off he would still have that. I signed into his hotmail account and there was confirmation of a photo shoot where you have your hair done, hand massage etc. When I asked his mum if she knew about it, she said a male friend nominated him and he's going on his own. I just don't understand. Am I being taken for an idiot. I know at some point he will contact me or should, as his stuff is still here including work clothes which he needs obviously. Everyone I have spoken to said it seems like his leaving his options open? Is this true?
Update: When I asked him if he misses me he says 'kind of' and if he has been thinking about me 'kind of'. Is he lying to me to try and make me feel better? I asked him about this girl and he says there is no one (ALL THE TIME) and he just wants time on his own.
7 months ago
Update: We also have a hols booked 4 june which he has not told me 2 cancel, he said if has the money he will still go? He has agreed 2 still pay off 2 of my credit cards and he said he don't mind helping my mum do the garden. (digging etc) is he just confused?
7 months ago
Update: So I keep going on. He said that he was going bk home and I said ok so we are over he said 'don't' say it like that'. That night he slept with me and it wasn't just the basics if you get me. But why would he do that when we have jus finished? BOYS I DON'T GET THEM!
7 months ago
"I just find it strange how we were talking an now he is ignoring me" That is the most hurtful aspect. He is leaving you with a void in your life. I know that everything is made to be lost, but that is cruel and fu*ked up. You're a great person for extending your hand to him (like you said " only if he wants me there"), but you should not even do that much. He sees that you're always around for him and he will continue to take advantage of you and never give you the answers you deserve (like "why are you ditching me? "). You need to be a more curt and demanding. You have the right to be a little bit nasty at this point. If you don't stick up for yourself, he will continue to walk all over you. By the way; what does his mom say/think about all of this?
He wants out. If or when he does decide to come back he will not treat you well. His actions are screaming at you that he is not longer committed to your relationship. I know that it is hard, but you will be better off trying to move on. Do you want to waste an indefinite amount of your time on a man that "kind of" loves you, misses you, thinks of you, or would you rather face the reality of the situation? Each of us should love and respect ourselves enough not to let some one chip away at our soul and dignity, he will do this as long as you let him. And don't log into anyone's account other than your own, that's just not cool.
One way to cure him of being lazy, and prevent him from doing more damage to you is to have his post redirected for him. I don't know about the UK, but here by writing "not at this address" on the letter will have it returned. Also, if you are close to his mother try returning his stuuf to her. You are not a storage shed and he shouldn't treat you that way. I'm not suggesting that you be hateful, just some self--preservation. - 7 months ago
Wow. This is disturbing to hear. He sounds like he wants to "start anew" and is putting into question everything from his past (including you, who has been there for him for three years! ). He is also going through a lot right now, but it should not be at your expense. I'm sure that if he wasn't acting like this, you'd be by his side through the loss in his family. Also this "I sort of love you, kind of miss you, sort of think about you" business is BULL SH*T! That is so hurtful. He most likely wants time on his own to "explore", whatever that means to him. My best advice to you is 1) stop contacting him 2) when he contacts you don't act so happy to hear him. Be as apathetic as he is being about the relationship 3) pretend that you're busy and you have to go and that you're happy and content now/ his phone call is in the way of more important things. 4) Do NOT cry in front of him! If you want him to come back/come to his senses, that is the biggest mistake you can make. He'll see your weakness and feel empowered and probably be like "sorry, baby" and you'll be both crying and infuriated (a wicked combination). Good luck and please keep us all posted. -Chloe
Thank you. Its nice to hear other opinions. I have told him I am there for him through thick and thin. I even told his mum if he wants me to go to his nans funeral I will. To support him, but ONLY if he wants me to go! I just find it strange how we were talking an now he is ignoring me. He has not made an effort to collect his stuff, e.g. 600 worth of dvd players etc, work clothes, bank statements, I must add he is lazy. He has not had his post redirected either. I feel so baffled by everything - 7 months ago
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