My ex boyfriend broke up with me about four months ago, after dating for 8 months and being friends for about 4 years. He gave me no good excuse, just saying that his feelings had changed and that he loved me very much but wasn't 'in love' with me anymore, even though I hadn't done something to push him away. After not talking to each other for 2 months I contacted him, saying that I knew there was someone else (I'd gone through his phone/email) and that I thought I deserved to know if he broke up with me because of her. He said he was really sorry he hurt me and that he didn't tell me about someone else in specific because he didn't see how that would help the situation. However, he claimed that she was not the main reason he broke up with me.
Two months after that, I know he's not dating her because we have some mutual friends, and we IM each other a lot but that's about it. We said we'd try and work on us being friends again because there used to be just friendship between us. Lately he started saying some confusing things when IMing me, like leaving me 'xx's at the end of conversations, something he didn't use to do when we started chatting after the breakup. I also called him something nasty once as a joke and he replied "love you too". One other time he went to get cigarettes and came back and I said "that was quick" and he said "I'm always quick where I have to". He comes close by saying stuff like that but then I feel him emotionally moving away from me.
Is he really confused but scared that he might break my heart again or am I just over analyzing? I'd told him twice in the past, post-breakup but before we got to our peaceful stage, that I was really turned off by the way he treated him and I didn't want him back anyway, but that was a lie because it's hard to delete your feelings for someone so easily.
Honestly, it sounds to me like he is just trying to stay friends with those words and actions. Don't let his friendliness mislead you because it will hurt you in the end. I think if he wanted to get back together he would probably just tell you so, or at least make much more of an effort to call and see you. But, it is nice that he is working to stay friends because it always makes life a little easier not to have grudges! However, if you still like him too much, your best bet would be to NOT be friends for a little while. Trying to be friends with someone you still love is really hard and it will hurt you. Don't let him hurt you again.
I know these would usually sound like friendly signs but since I've dated him I know him quite well and know that he doesn't really have very good flirting skills, and he is a bit of a coward (not really a man with "balls") if he doesn't get any signs. Wouldn't a guy try and be a little bit more careful with what he says to his ex if he was the one who broke up with her in the first place? Plus he's the one that starts most conversations, I usually ignore him. - 7 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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