My ex broke up with me 4 months ago after being together for 8 months. The last month of the relationship was quite drained, and we both knew we were having problems, but I was willing to work on it. We had a long distance relationship because we go to Uni in different cities, but we'd meet every weekend or at least every other weekend, plus we live in the same hometown so we'd be together during the vacations. After a fight we had mid-November which left some unresolved issues, we met again in December, but by then it was too late because he wasn't willing to work on it and his feelings for me had changed. In the meanwhile I had found out that he fancied someone else which he later admitted when I confronted him. He became close to her after the fight, and I think the fact that she was breaking up with her boyfriend at the time encouraged him to break up with me. He revealed this to me 2 months after the breakup, but he said he wasn't happy with me, even though he would even mention marriage to me and generally say that he had never felt this way for anyone else. We both thought this would last a long time, at least a couple of years, but then he simply gave up on us with the first sign of trouble.
Now we're on talking terms and we IM each other frequently, but that's about it. I'm still in love with him but obviously he's not and wants to be friends again. He is probably in love with someone else now, not the girl that helped him break up with me (which kind of shows how easily he falls in and out of love). Talking to him and knowing he only sees me in a friendly way hurts me more than anything in the world, but it's my fault for showing him friendly signs, hiding my feelings, and being the one who re-initiated communication after the breakup.
Should I come clean and tell him I thought I could be friends with him but now decided I can't, or should I just try and let go and block him from my life without giving him any reasons? I think subconsciously I still talk to him with the hope that he will realize what he's lost and come back to me, which is obviously not going to happen.
Unrequited love is a terrible feeling. If it hurts talking to him, you should think hard about not talking to him for a while, at least until your feelings change. After that I'm sure you two can be friends.
The best thing is to cut off contact. If you are getting along well you should tell him that you need time for you and that being around him is difficult. If he is a jerk to you most of the time then you should just disappear from his life without warning.
This will give you time to move on and maybe even make him realize he misses you and he wants another chance. If you do want him back then you need to give him space to see what life is like without you and if wants you he will come back.
I don't really understand why, but the best way to get someone back is to get over them.
I was in the same situation as you. Only worse. He never even wanted to still be friends with me. After we broke up, he went out with another woman, and told her that he wanted nothing to do with me. After a year, my feelings for him are still intense and I still can't get him over my mind.
Honey, everyone says that time is the best healer and to just let go of him, but coming from my own experience, I say, "What does your heart tell you to do?" You're the only one who knows you the most and if you really think that he should still be a part of your life then tell him your feelings. Not in a desperate way though, you know what I mean?
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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