Lost, confused, and slowly crumbling down...

Honestly if he doesn't love you anymore, then that's his problem. Not yours. You have just as much a right to pursuit happiness as he does. Why continue to waste your time with someone who didn't care about you when you were sick. What you need to do is stop feeling lost, get out there and find another person who will love you back. Your not being fair to yourself at all. Who cares how happy this guy is at this point. He made his decision. I think from the information you provided here that you need to evaluate your self esteem a little. I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful to you, I'm trying to help you to understand that in a huge world of possibility, you shouldnt squander your love and happiness on someone who is no longer worth it. That ship has sailed. You need and deserve a lot better. God helps those who will help themselves. That's the beauty of our gift of free will. We don't live long enough for you to waste it on one person. And just think, if you give some new guy a chance, you may wind up being the greatest thing to ever happen to someone else. That's a wonderful possibility to explore. Even right now, you may mean the whole world to someone who wants nothing more than to be noticed by you. So give him, whoever he may be, and yourself the chance for happiness. Take this one as a learning experience. Without heartache we never grow. It's how I became who I am today and I am thankful for the growing pains that heart ache brought. Every cloud has silver lining. The choice is yours. - j

Re invent your self, if you don't grow you die! go to self help section in a book store and get this it might only be on cd but is awesome.. reinventing yourself by stephen chandler. good?

Well first off, you need to forget about him for now. He says he doesn't love you and there's nothing you can do about it. Second, you should be more concerned about your well-being than his. If his mom got sick very sick after he broke up with you, then he's obviously hurt and is going to distance himself. You may feel like you're dying and lost and confused, but we all feel that way at some point. That's life, if everyone was coming on this site with happy stories and light problems then I would be baffled. And chill out, there is hope we're only 19, we have all the time in the world still, it's not over. I don't know what your situation is, but I'm pretty sure there's more going on then you what you said. Not that I blame you, I wouldn't come on here telling my life story either.

But what I want to ask you is, would you ask an unhealthy man to climb a mountain? No you wouldn't because he's not well enough. Cloud this guy out of your memory because you're not well enough. You have to be strong as an individual before you can be strong with the pack. Why join a group or a party when you aren't strong enough to contribute? And I'm not talking about the get help get yourself together, you're not that bad off, I'm talking about the sit back and reevaluate get yourself together. You lost your mojo or you lost the eye of the tiger.

Remember your drive, remember why you exist. I know you don't exist for this guy do you? Because if you do then your existence doesn't mean very much. See, people get in these relationships and they become dependent. Don't ever put your joy,happiness, and life into one person, because once they're gone, you and your meaning goes away along with it. I'm with God too, that's all that matters. What will you do with God, how will you move with God? The greatest people in the bible went with God and he showed them the way. Live your life for what matters to you, this guy doesn't matter that much to you. What do you want to marry him? No, wake up Mary Jane, live your life for God, for Mary Jane, and for who else is truly there for you and who cares for you. Yeah I've liked girls too but I've realized that in the grand scheme of things girls will only bring me down and cloud my judgement when it comes to what matters. I have a life and a mission to live for, and I can't let girls bring my attention away from the people who need help. Find your drive Mary Jane, put your heart and life into the things that will never leave you. Become strong and independent and down the line, you'll meet someone who doesn't require you to put part of your being into them. They'll add thereself to you and you to them, becoming to equal halves which fuse into one. There will be no imbalance of will power. This guy is going about his life like he did before, W/O YOU. You must do the same. No matter how nice or good he was there is always someone better. What do you think he was the best man for you on this planet? That's a lie.