Ok so if any of you have read my previous questions you know that I had a wonderful relationship that ended in January because he was scared of commitment. Well he came back last month and we were working towards the relationship again, but this past weekend he told me that " the relationship that we had will never be there again, and we both need to move on". I am devastated again. I know he is young and just isn't ready to settle down right now, and that's not his fault but it doesn't help my heartache. I think he was easier to get over when he was an ***hole but now that he has slowed down on his partying and trying to do the respectful thing for me, it's so much harder. He told me not to settle and to find someone that will treat me the way I deserve. How can I hate someone that says that? He wants to work on being friends but I want more. I don't know what to do. I know I should cut off all contact and let him miss me likes last time, but being friends lets me still be apart of his life and talk to him. He told me he is the type of guy that leaves past relationships in the past and he took a huge leap coming back but, since I brought up the fact he slept with someone else when we were apart, that he got burned, and needs to do things on his terms now. I know I should of never brought it up and wish I could take it back but I can't. When I asked him if it was my comment that made him change his mind about me he told me " that's not all of it but things like that will keep coming up". I don't know what to do. All of my friends are so busy now and I feel so alone. I was so close to having him back and now he's gone again. I don't know if he needs time and I should do my own thing for a while. Or just cut off all communication and start dating. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I am accomplishing new goals in my life and should be excited but I'm not. I just bought my first house and even passed a motorcycle class. I can't focus on anything. One thing that he said when he called me the first time (after the breakup) was that he was afraid I was going to move on before he was ready. And now he is saying that we both need to move on and that our feelings may never go away and we have to do the best we can. . I don't know if he is saying that we need to move on so that way he doesn't feel like he's holding me back. Or if he really has no interest in the relationship anymore. He told me that he doesn't want me counting on him coming back around. I am so devastated. Help!
Update: I forgot to mention, I've been trying to stay busy. I started going to church, attending Coda meetings, and I am moving next week but nothing is working! I still cry throughout the day and nights
7 months ago
I just don't get guys! You can be beautiful inside and out be the sweetest person and all the great things and guys will still give you BS lines. I guess it just means our exes weren't the ones for us. Honey just do the no contact rule and be positive , give it a few month of not talking and see how he reacts. Don't get mad if he is with other women, it will happen, but don't react to it. Be the women that is independent and show him you are OK with or without him. You and him have been together for a while. Bottom line he does care for you and will miss you! But you have to get the upper hand and know that life goes on. You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. Honey if he isn't the one ,God will lead you to the ONE. I think it might have been too soon for you and him to start back at it again. When we being to bring things up from the past that guys did wrong they get freaked out again and push you away. We all have to learn to let things go.
Well we were friends and it was cool but now he deleted me as a friend on myspace and won't return any texts anymore. I don't know what changed but I am devastated again. He won't even give me an explanation. Today would of been our one year anniversary :( - 7 months ago
I don't know the reasons you 2 broke up ,but he seems like a stand up guy. There aren't too many of them out her that will tell you directly let alone in so many words that you can do better then them. That takes a strong man. I know how you feel I've been there 2 ( except my ex wasn't as understanding) your heartaches and you want this situation to go away ,but its not that simple. . Do you remember why you 2 broke up in the first place? He was afraid of commitment which means he was afraid of you. I know you don't want to hear it, but I promise it will get better. Its just going to take time. . Now you could just sit and wait for him to see how special you are , but y do that? You see he already knows how special you are that's y he let you go. Maybe he's right he doesn't deserve you ( he's said that in so many words) b proud of that he did you a favor. . He didn't game your heart.
If I'm so special then why let me go? I don't get that. If you have something with someone special you should treasure it, not let it go and let someone else have it. That's where I lay confused - 7 months ago
Answerer
I completely agree with you. I don't know all the answers, but I do know that if I could choose between a guy telling me he doesn't want to be with me and just being with me for the hell of it. . I would choose the 1st one. . . Maybe he knew he wasn't ready for what you wanted and instead of stringing you along he wanted to be honest. . Because you do mean that much. . . Only he knows I guess - 7 months ago
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