I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Everything was going well until he kissed another girl and started flirting with her in November/December of 2007. I asked him about it, but he didn't tell me the truth until the day he broke up with me, in mid February. Since then, we've been on and off again because he'll call at 2am and apologize and say I'm the love of his life, and then a week later it falls to pieces. A few days ago, he said he can't make time for me (can't see me more than one day of the week even thought we lie a mile away from each other), so I told him it was over for real this time.
The only thing that really bothers me is that I'm not sure if he cared about me or not. I'm 100% positive he's going to try to get me back, but I'm not going to let that happen again. Why is he doing this if he supposedly loves me?
He doesn't love you. You don't do that to someone you love. You don't do that to someone you respect. He may have feelings for you. He may care for you. But he most assuredly does not love you.
And he's called several times in the middle of the night, and he never got sex on those nights. We've actually only had sex twice since the initial break-up in February. - 7 months ago
Him calling you at 2am and apologizing is like him saying: "I miss being with someone," instead of "I love you. " He calls because he is lonely, and he knows that you'll care about him and listen to him when he's lonely. I say this because it's sounds like you try and he doesn't - by your details. He gets what he wanted and then it falls to pieces. Leaving you wanting more. Or feeling "up in the air" for catering to him. Can you relate to this or does this not apply?
It does apply, unfortunately. I'm a loyal, trusting, naive girl. We've had good times in the past which is why I think I keep taking him back. I'm wishing that he'd turn back into that guy. But the fact is, he needs some grow up time. And I guess I finally see this.
It's probably harder because he's my first boyfriend, first love, first kiss, first everything. Even lost my virginity to him.
I need some chocolate. - 7 months ago
Answerer
I'm a reese's peanut butter cup person, lol.
But, I've been in your shoe's before. And I'm glad that your standing up for yourself. And you got to remember that "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. " And I just mean that if he meant what he said, then he would back up his words with his actions. Like if the horse was thirsty and said(lol, horses can't talk) he wanted a drink but didn't take one when you led him there, what would that tell you. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
Yeah.
I'm not too worried, though. Next year I will be finishing my degree at a hospital, so I'll just find myself a hot doctor. - 7 months ago
Answerer
And you shouldn't get down on yourself for being loyal or anything like that because you know you're better than that. And he says he loves you but can't explain himself well enough so that you know what to expect, you don't need that kind of run-around. Sometimes we're blinded by love, or something like that. But It's where we learn what to watch out for in the future. You want to rely on your good friends. The ones that tell you the truth, not whatyou want to hear. - 7 months ago
Good for you. Don't let him come back. At least not for several months. See how long he hangs on for. He may care about you more than you know and he is just really confused. Men are like that. I dated a guy for 10 months, and then he broke up with me and said he had never really loved me (even tho he professed it to me over and over again - he even said it to me before I ever said it to him). I still hang out with him every once in awhile and before he leaves he wraps his arms around me and holds me for a good fifteen seconds and then kisses me on the nose or forehead. I think he did and still does love me, but doesn't want to admit it to himself or is really confused. Anyways, I think this guy probably does and did love you. He just made some mistakes, got confused, and is still confused. Take some time away from him, clear your head, and don't go jumping into any new relationships. If he still wants you back after 3 or 4 months, I think maybe he should get another chance - if you still love him and want to try to work things out. Good luck :)
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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