Ok so this has happened twice now. I would be in a relationship that was progressing well and the guy freaks out and gets scared and leaves. The first time I was engaged, and three months before the wedding, he tells me he can't handle this right now and just isn't ready and left. The second time, we were in the process of buying a house and he was going to propose at the housewarming party but freaked out and left. He told me he was scared and doesn't know why. Both relationships were great, very minimal arguing and both disappearing acts happened out of the blue. What is wrong with me? Why am I so great to them that they would propose and want to spend their life with me, but the next minute they freak out. Is it me? Or do I just have really bad luck?
I think it's just an unfortunate repeat performance. I know there are parts of my life where the same thing went wrong several times in a row, so I always think it's hopeless to even try now. That's just the way the human mind works.
The best thing you can do is not centralize the blame on yourself. It was their decision to leave. They should give you more closure than they did, but just remember everything was fine on your end. No telling what some people are thinking. Did you get a chance to talk to him about it at all? Or has he pulled a disappearing act?
Well the first one never really gave me closure...and the second came back and wanted to work things out but then he disappeared again with no explanation or any sort of closure - 7 months ago
Answerer
It might help to try a few times to get closure with this most current guy. Getting back together may not be the best thing, but if he cared enough about you to buy a house. He should let you know the reasons he wanted to leave. The best way to approach asking a guy for information like that is to be straight-forward. "I want to know why this happened, so I can carry on. " Don't mix the question with any other questions or emotions. That's your best bet to get an answer. - 7 months ago
Question Asker
He did tell me why he left the first time but the second time he won't tell me. We were cool and working towards a friendship and then boom..no contact at all..I sent him a text that said I needed closure so I could move on completely and I get nothing back. He hasn't returned any of my messages in a week. I am moving and he has stuff here and won't even contact me back to get it, we are even on a family plan for cell phones and won't contact me about that either - 7 months ago
Answerer
Sorry to hear that, sounds like a difficult thing to go through. At this point if it was me (as I have learned through other things), I would cut my losses and try to move on the best way I can. The best way to head in the direction you want to be is to start taking steps, one after the other. Have you talked to any of your mutual friends? Maybe they noticed some things but never felt comfortable sharing the info. You could try to get some closure through them. - 7 months ago
I am sorry to hear your unfortunate, however it takes two hands to clap. it sound like you are into long turn relationship like marriage. Have you been pressing with the idea of marriage? Since what I know most guys don't really like when a woman is pressing marriage to their face. Try to let the guy make the move first and things will be better.
No I never bring up marriage, both of the guys initiated the fast pace in the relationships, which is why I don't get it. If you aren't ready, why initiate it? - 7 months ago
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