It all started 10 years ago. I met a man who I thought was the man of my dreams. I already had 3 kids from another relationship we fell in love. I fell pregnant and we had a little boy. We were so happy at first, then things started to change, he never turned up when he said. When I rang he never answered he started to hurt me but I still wouldn't let him go. Time went by like this. Then one day I found out he had another child the same age as the one we had together and that this other woman was pregnant again. I also found out I was pregnant as well but to top it all of I found out he had been sleeping with my best friend and she was also pregnant but no, I still took him back even after all that. Why? I really don't know. I think it's cause I couldn't bare to lose him. We were ok, my best mate who I still talk to didn't have the baby but the other woman did, she had a girl. My partner said he didn't want anything to do with them. We had a baby girl in 03. Things were good but deep down I knew he was seeing this other woman as I saw texts from her on his phone sometimes. I just left it. I just loved him so much I didn't want to lose him. Then one night on my birthday in 05 he tried to strangle me even to this day he says he only had me in a head lock but if you call a head lock your partner with his legs on your arm and his hands round your throat. I took him to court he got 2 years probation and a domestic violence course for some reason. I felt bad for doing that as I never wanted to hurt him even though he hurt me. In the meantime we had split up he had got back together with the other woman he had 2 kids with. After a few months we got back in contact and he wanted to see kids so I let him as I knew he missed them and my kids really missed seeing him and yes guess what I still wanted to be with him. I still couldn't seem to let him go and he said he wanted to be with me too. I was the only person he had ever loved as much as me. After all that had happened I believed him so another few years carried on and we were the happiest. Things started to go wrong again he was always too busy. I didn't want to sleep with him as I always thought he was sleeping with someone else but I never stopped loving him. Then in April I found out he had been seeing some other women after I had heard him talking to a friend while he had thought he had put the phone down on me. I confronted him and he said that he didn't know what to do as he really likes this other woman so I left him to it. He used to come round see the kids, tell me he loved me and sleep with me tell me he wanted us to get back together but couldn't leave her as he didn't want to hurt her either. For a few weeks I didn't hear a thing then I rang him he told me he was going to get married to her. Why do I still love this man and how could I get him out of my head and my life?
It seems like you gave him everything. And you still do. He will keep doing that to you until you put an end to it. And from what it looks like, there will be no end, after all, no matter what he does, you keep taking him back.
At points, wants and needs are different. You sound like you still want him, but you want him for the good he is, not the bad. Unfortunately for you though, he seems to have more bad qualities than the good ones. You cannot really take the bad out of him. What you need is however the good qualities. And I am certain that there are men out there who can provide you with the good qualities you need. Put your desires aside for once and go for what you really need. Even more, you have kids now, who you should care for. If your needs are not satisfied, that will most probably reflect on the needs of your children.
Since it has been going as long as ten years, I also suggest you consult a professional and talk to him/her about your experience. They will be more appropriate to give you the guidance you need and help you take the initiative to stop thinking about him.
I'm in the same boat but mine was only for 4 yrs and to be quite honest to you just think about your kids and your health as I was nearly killed by mine and I never looked back as my 6 kids would have been without a mother now, males like that shouldn't even get with females when they think we play up behind there backs, the saying goes GUILTY BLAMES THE INNOCENT............
Ok so you know I've been writing in asking all thease questions about my ex and me we talk like evryday on com and whatnot and still are doing things...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
I nice dinner date at a restaurant, be it steakhouse, Japanese hibachi or Italian. I would wear business casuals but nothing over the top and all cleaned up. We would talk about anything but I would do most of the listening to show I am focused on her. Afterwards, a nice drive around town for a few or a walk in the park if the weather is good. To end the date, I will never try to steal a kiss.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
A woman will know that I am a very honest and straightforward guy with a tremendous sense of humor. She will know that I am one of those nice guys that women have been looking for all this time yet have been here all along.
(Age:36 to 45)
When: More than a year ago
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