I was just diagnosed with cervical cancer. I have a 3cm tumor that will be removed and chemo with radiation for 7 weeks. My best friend left him a message saying that I was gonna go through some medical treatment (no mention of cancer) and that I was needing my friends and love ones right now. That was last week, but he still has not called me. Should I even bother letting him know what's going on or just move on. We don't have many friends in common, but I know that eventually he will find out from somebody. I am really depressed that he is not even trying to call me. My best friend says that I hurt his feelings by breaking up without any warning and that he probably erased the msg. Without listening to it at all. What should I do. I sure feel very humble right now, but don't think that I have done anything so terrible for him not to even contact me ever again. Please advice.
Do you keep in contact with him? I don't really understand why you want him to know because it sounds like you haven't talked to him in a while. I know you are going through hard times and if it came to becoming life threatening ( as in none of the therapy is working, not that cancer isn't life threatening mind you) then I can see possibly why you would want him to know. Did you just break up recently? He is still probably on an emotional roller coaster if it was recent. If it was just recent then I would have him know. If it has been months since you talked to him then let him be. I know it sounds harsh and cruel but why should he need to know? Your friend tried and if he ever confronts you on it you can tell him it was his own fault. I wouldn't go any further unless it falls under what I mentioned above.
I broke up with him 3 weeks ago and he just called me yesterday. We talked, and both said that we're sorry, but I want to take it easy. He is a very good friend and that's what I need right now. Thank you. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Thats good I'm glad to here got back into contact with him. Just use the time to re evaluate the issues you had with him. Maybe it might be something that the cancer was effecting you in such a way that you couldn't deal with any more problems. For right now it would probably be best just to talk and be friends while you are going through this. Good luck to ya hope you get better soon! - 3 months ago
I guess what you wrote leaves me wondering. If you broke it off with him, why is it so important for him to be one of the people with you now? He could be in much pain and expecting him to be there could be more than he can handle, especially if the relationship is still off, and even given your condition. It doesn't mean he didn't care. It could be the opposite. Are you having second thoughts? Was breaking it off a mistake? If not, then I would let him be and focus on your current circle of friends and relatives. Be happy if he sends a card.
I should add that what you need now is not depression or drama. So whether staying away is wrong or right for him, you can't concern yourself with that. Share time with the people who are there and think about positive things. Best wishes. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Yes, you're right it was a mistake to break up with him and you are absolutely right about the timing. I don't think I can offer much of it right now. Thanks - 3 months ago
You have to think about yourself. You broke-up with him. Someone told him a week ago that you needed loved ones around, you broke-up with him. Maybe he is still hurting from the sudden break-up from you, maybe he's not in town, maybe he never go the message, why don't you call him , and tell him you want to see him? Why don't you wait until he finds out? , and take care of you. You can't be stressin over him right now, that's the last thing you need, he'll be in touch.
Well if he is that special to you you a fool. If he really cares for you, he would be coming to visit you when you need him. He's not worth it. Sorry about your tumor, ill be praying.
I've been through something similar, although it was precancer, and I didn't need chemo or radiation. Cervical cancer is very curable - I know how stressful this is, but really, if you have to have cancer, this is one of the best ones to get. It is slow-moving.
You will be fine; it will be cured; and you will find a great man who returns your calls! You broke up with him for a reason (I read the question): he wasn't meeting your needs. Now that you're feeling vulnerable, you want everyone around. I understand that, but I think it's better for you to stick with people who have always been there for you.
I guess you weren't getting regular Pap tests, so I really hope you will (and I hope all women reading this will too).
Also, to any young women who read this - PLEASE consider the HPV vaccine; I wish it had been around for me, as it would have saved me a lot of grief.
Firstly, I hope you feel better and I hope that your family and friends are there with you to help you out during this time. Secondly, I think you should let your boyfriend know the truth. I guess if he's taking the break-up hard. He must have loved you truly and still does. If he did not reply back to the "medical treatment" message your friend sent him. Then he's not worth it. On the other hand, however, he might not have gotten or read the message. I think you should give him a call and talk to him. Tell him what you are going through. Whether he cares or doesn't after that is his choice. I think on your part you should let him know what's really up. The reassurance you'll have after you have told him will only be good for you. You'll be able to relax yourself knowing he knows and you'll also know whether he was worth it or not.
I wish you the best of luck. I don't know why you 2 broke up , but your best friend maybe right you probably did hurt his feelings. HOWEVER if she ( I'm just assuming its a female) left him a message explaining to him that you were having a medical treatment done and he hasn't called back. . Just to ask if your ok. . He's a jerk. On the other hand I 2 have been guilty of erasing messages without having listened to them , so that is another possibility. Because you are humble now I think maybe you should give him a call yourself if it means that much 2 you to have his support right now. If he doesn't respond you put up a good fight. . Beat cancer. And come out a better person. . You'll b ok
I am humble, but very vulnerable too and very afraid of his rejection by not answering the phone or returning my call. Thanks for the support. God bless. - 3 months ago
I met this girl at work who was interested in me. But I was not really into starting a relationship with somebody from work. Because it could give...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
I'm a pretty open minded, active person, so I wouldn't really care where we would go. I would love to go ice skating or something like that would be perfect. We could have fun and still have time to talk. I would wear a pair of jeans and a cute top. If we went ice skating I would wear a light jacket and a scarf. Something cute yet comfortable. It would end with a kiss or a hug.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
I would hope he would know my sense of humor and how fun I am. He would how athletic I am and my interests.
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
