Ok so I finally got back with my girlfriend after 6 months of being broken up, she ended up coming back to me and announcing that she loved me and it was a huge mistake leaving me and what not. 3 months later on Monday she breaks it off again saying she needs time to herself and to figure out her life and that we should just be friends for now.
Later that same night she calls and flirts with me like crazy, even asking "can we still have sleep overs?" and "I'm not sure I'm making the right decision" by breaking up with me.
Since Monday she's called me every night. Last night my grandfather died and she wanted to come be here but her mother didn't want her to leave because she had to get up early, so we talked on the phone for hours, and again she flirted with me later on; we teased back and forth about having sex with each other and such.
Today she stops by to pick up some alcohol she left here (she's going camping with her sister). Last night she'd said she'd give me a kiss before she left. Well it didn't happen and when I mentioned it, she blew me a kiss and then left, but had a weird kinda look on her face like she felt bad.
I'm pretty confident that we're going to end up back together, given everything that has happened this week . but am I wrong?
What do you think is going on? :(
Update: Every time I've seen her she's wearing the promise ring I gave to her . she says she hasn't stopped wearing it . good sign I'd say?
More than a year ago
If she wants to be with you, she does. If she doesn't she doesn't. You say "I'm pretty confident that we're going to end up back together". Well, I bet you're also confident that you guys are going to break up again after getting back togther. Because it seems to me like she's not willing to leave the single world behind for you to be with you. maybe for another few months, but not for long. Are you willing to risk getting your heart broken once again when you know it's not going to work out? Don't let her play with your emotions. She is because she knows she can and get away with it. She can get away with it because you let her.
I think she definitely cares for you but at the same time she's really confused. Maybe the first time you guys broke up, she realized she liked the freedom and not having to worry about her other half. But as time went by and she was still single, she probably missed you, which caused her to come back. When she got back with you, she probably started to miss the freedom again which lead her to break up. I think for now, she really just wants to keep her options open and still keep you close because does care. She just doesn't know if she wants to be in a serious, committed relationship so she wants to do her own thing, figure her life out, and come to a final decision whether or not this relationship is what she wants. Just continue being a friend to her. don't get too close and don't act like a boyfriend. If she's unhappy with this behavior, she has to realize she declared you two to only be friends and this may cause her to finally come back.
It looks like you really have determination and love for this relationship! From her behaviour it seems like she's unsure of who she is, what she wants and her identity in general. Wanting to be friends for now means she's still in her "judging" phase - and considering the previous break ups, this shouldn't be new to you.
I think one thing you guys need to talk about it whether you still want to be "exclusive" or not - it's best that you guys stay just friends for now (eg. no kissing and sex), but you guys also need to make a deal about whether you're allowed to be interested in other people. If she puts off seeing other people, it means she wants to stay in the r'ship and be loyal to you (while she's searching for herself).
Talking about this "exclusive friendship" will help you to understand how she feels about this relationship, you and where she's at.
When she ended it on Monday she said "but this isn't because I'm looking for someone else or that I want someone else, I just need to be alone, and just be friends for now" So maybe that answers that question? - More than a year ago
Answerer
Yup, well that's a good thing that she said she don't want someone else and just you. It shows that she is only searching for herself. To be honest this will be a challenge for you because we don't know how long it will take for her to find out who is she & what she really wants. It all depends on you now whether you think she's worth your wait. - More than a year ago
Question Asker
I'd wait forever for this girl. I waited 6 months and she came back, I'm sure I can wait again. She told me she needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with someone else. I respect that, and I truly love her. I'm not the type of guy who like going out and hooking up with random girls. When I found her when I was 17, I was so happy, 20 years old now and I know that I truly do love this girl. Thanks for your comments :) - More than a year ago
Sorry about your Grandpa, but with that being said lets get down to business. I don't have much 2 say in fact I don't think there is much I can say ( and I am never at a lost for words) '' I'm pretty confident that we're going to end up back together , given everything that has happened this week'' Huh ? Read that one line back to yourself. OK now back to business , I don't think this girl has the best intention's as far as your feelings go. A better excuse to use for her would be she 's confused , but you can't because SHE"S NOT CONFUSED. She know's what she's doing and how to do it exactly , she knows that no matter what she does or the matter of times she does it that you'll take her back with open arms . . this girl in a word is SELFISH. She wants to be friends , but she''s flirting with you , but she needs time to herself to figure out her life ? Come On your not blind this girl's no good for you. However if your hell bent on having her in your life proceed with caution . . she just seems like a waste of time . Sorry to say , but I think we all have heard the phrase you can do better a time or 2 .
I guess I should have mentioned that before the first breakup, we were together for almost two years, so it's not like it's a short term thing. When we got back together three months ago, she laid with me and cried about how she'd hurt me and that she can't believe she did so, and that she was so wrong to end things, and that she's afraid to hurt me again cause she's so messed up but she wants to be with me ... so I don't think she's TRYING to hurt me...she's even seeing a psychologist. - More than a year ago
Answerer
You ''know'' her better then I , but anyone can talk a good game. Her ACTIONS and WORDS don't add up. Sorry . . .remember its my opinion though . . .U asked I answered - More than a year ago
Question Asker
Yes and I thank you. I understand what you mean though, I just think, and hope, that she's better than that. - More than a year ago
move on, if she ever comes around again, don't be harsh, just tell her nicely and calmly you don't want her anymore.
Don't even give her a reason !
She doesn't even know what she is doing, explaining the situation to her why you moved on will only give her ammunition to manipulate you back into her game.
If she ever comes around again *Just tell her I moved on and I don't feel the same anymore* NOTHING ELSE
If she doesn't, well good riddance, you are choosing that you are worth more than that.
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When: More than a year ago
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