My girlfriend of 6 years and I were engaged to be married this summer. We've traveled Asia together. We had a really romantic holiday season together. We loved each other.
Then one night she came to me crying and said "I don't want to get married." The next day I was hurt but we spent a romantic night on a beach and watched the sun rise.
Then she took off, turned her cell phone off, and cut me out cold.
She came back a couple of weeks later and I was a wreck. I asked her "Why?" but she wouldn't give me a reason. She said she was going away. Then she left. All her clothes, shoes, jewelry, our cats, our car, etc. were left with me in our place.
Then she called and was really cold. She bragged about how guys are trying to pick her up and it was great. After that I started ignoring her calls but she has been calling friends worried that I'm dating. I found out that she already is (I'm not).
I can't figure it out. What happened? Why did she leave? Will she come back?
She obviously just wasn't ready to commit yet, and instead of doing the mature thing and telling you about it, she ran away. It's perfectly natural to be scared, but she just didn't know how to react to those feelings.
This situation can go one of two ways:
One, she could end up coming back to you after realizing that she does love you. If she does, I'd advise you not to rush things with her, and to basically start over with everything that you possibly could.
Two, she could realize that she doesn't love you after all, and that she was your relationship was just a safety net. In this case, she won't come back.
However, the fact that she is asking about you dating leans more to scenario number one. Either that, or she's just trying to mess you up as much as she felt when the fear overcame her.
The best thing for you to do is confront her about her feelings straight-up (if possible). If it's not possible, then I would suggest that you try to get over her. If it was meant to be, then everything will fall into place.
I don't know for sure but (hypothetically speaking) if I did this to my boyfriend, it would be because I didn't love him. The way she's acting.it seems like she doesn't even like you much. She fell out of love; that's what happened. That's y she left. Is she coming back? If it's beneficial for her. Why would you want her back? I'm sure it sucks but you have to move on.
Sorry about your loss. And it really is a loss considering you two were planning to get married and you probably planned each day around each other and now you are alone. Well, the best thing that you can do is take care of yourself and plan each new day around making yourself happy. Like going to the gym to take care of your body and hanging out more with your friends and doing more things that you loved to do before you met your ex. You can't get too frustrated about the "why's" and what you could have possibly done wrong.
It does sound strange that she is acting this way considering the amount of time that you were with her. Does this behavior reflect her character in the past? Was she ever cold to you like this before?
As for why she broke up - I do not know. And nobody except this girl can tell you. You need to tell her that you deserve an answer as to why she left you. At least to give you some peace of mind.
BTW, how old is she? I ask because most girls in their 30's would not flake-out like this on a man they are seriously considering for marriage material and then brag about other guys.
Maybe she had a lot on her mind and she needed to go away for a period of time. Don't worry she will probably be back to pick up what she has left behind u, and of course her clothes, shoes, etc. She will have thought it over and she will then say sorry and you two can get married again I hope my advice helped a little bit [=
Lots of reasons come to mind: she was bored, she was no longer attracted, someone else came into the picture that seemed like a better catch, etc. The list goes on and on. The good news is that you can fix what went wrong so it doesn't happen in the future. The bad news is that she's probably a lost cause. Check out stuff like The Game by Neil Strauss, The Venusian Arts Handbook, and The Art of Seduction by Greene. All great books to figure out what it takes to attract and keep women in your life.
Whenever a guy gets dumped like this, or a guy wants to get romantic with a female friend, my advice is nearly the same: cut off all contact for a few weeks and start anew. Better yet, if you can date some women in that time apart, the better your chances will be as then you'll have some preselection going in your favor. Plus nothing makes a woman realize they're attracted to a man than some healthy competition and a bit a jealousy. Do that and there is a good chance she'll come crawling back.
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 2 months ago
