Should I try to get my ex girlfriend back?

Okay, first things first. Pray about this situation. Give God authority to do whatever He wants in your life, even if it has to be in spite of you. I don't know how many people have prayed for God to fix someone else, or fix them, and then stop short of letting Him actually do so. When God brings up a memory, there is a reason behind it. If a thought comes to mind, no matter how weird it sounds, prayerfully consider it, and see where it leads. God may need to fix some things in you so you can represent Him well when you are investing in her.

By the way, stop spending, killing or wasting time. Time is the only thing that is not replaceable. It is redeemable, but not replaceable. You only have so much to work with. If you spend, or waste, money, you have nothing worthwhile to show for it. If you invest money, someone will reap the benefit of a good investment. If you invest time, trust God to reap the rewards, and pass on what is appropriate to you, when it is appropriate. Redeeming this relationship will take a lot of time invested in your relationship with God, and with her.

How long was she married, what was he like before they married, what was he like after, what does she want in a man, husband, friend and what were her parents like when she was growing up? These are all questions you need to contemplate. If you can get her to meet with you, to talk, ask her to tell you her story. Don't badger, or lead her with questions, it is her story, and she can tell you what she thinks she is safe telling you.

Right now, it sounds like she is scared. Be her friend. Four months was probably too fast for her. If she were smart, she would have suggested at least a sixteen months so she could see how you act throughout a year, once you get familiar with each other. That would have given her time to test you in a relationship, and see if she could trust you. Since that didn't happen, she may be reacting to you in a way that is fulfilling the need to test, without making it a conscious decision and process. The problem is, one slip and she will write you off. That is not a healthy way to approach this process, but it is based on coping mechanisms, not healthy responses.

She may not even know how she feels right now. Ask her how she feels and affirm her. Let her know God made her and He doesn't make anything, or anyone, substandard. Yes, her ex husband cheated on her. It was not her fault. She may have contributed somehow, but that is not important now. Besides, it is between her and God. If God wants you to say something to her about it, He will compel you to do so. Not force or coerce, but compel. There is a difference. God will not give you words that judge, condemn or manipulate her, in any way. He will not use you to accuse her, or accuse her to you. Let that sink in for a moment. God differentiates between the person, affirming them, and their actions and attitudes, correcting, or affirming them.

I got news for ya: If you stick with this one, then you're the next jerk that she dates.

She's lonely. She's clingy. She's trying to drag you down to jerk-dom too. Don't do it; don't fall victim to the clingy girl. You deserve much better than this and not accepting her so gracious invitation will prove that. Look, I'm not saying that she is inherently bad and doomed for hell, I'm just saying that she has some personal issues to deal with, and some things to learn. And believe it or not, letting her go will be a step in the right direction for her doing that.

It will benefit you as well. You said you know you can live without her. Well you're damn right. Embrace that fact, and understand that you will, in good time, find a woman who will not dump you in one day's time, hook up with another, then come crying back to you. You deserve better, you will find better, and I guarantee it.

A lot of that going on these days.my girlfriend of six years recently pulled the same stunt on me.we were even engaged.

You should go No Contact. It's a win/win situation. If it's over then it's over and NC will help you start getting on with your life. There's nothing you can do to control what she wants because she has to come to this decision herself.

If it's not over and you go NC then giving her a chance to miss you will make her come running back to you. Either way you need to start getting on with your life and give up hope of a reconciliation or else there never will be one.

Just make sure you let her know. Send an email or something that says

"Everything is okay. One day we'll get to sit down and talk. For now I think it would be best if we had some time to ourselves. Take care of yourself and [insert daughter's name] in the meantime. Maybe at some point we can get together." And end it like that.

That way you're the mature one and you take care of yourself. Then let the chips fall where they may.

Looks like it's the same old story, a woman who wants more and does not know what she has. She didn't want you and now she needs someone to talk to and guess what, you're the man. You're the guy she talks to because you are available. The question you need to ask yourself is, are you willing to be trampled over and treated like this?