What are the steps to getting an ex-boyfriend back?

look don't ever let him know you ned him or you love him more than he could think of,after 9 month you must have some semblance of familiarity with his way of thinking and seeing things,i would say just msg him like hi what's up how you doing?what you been up to,let him to open up,and by the way aren't you guys gonna see each other by summer end?then this is a long distance relationship,i would say vamp up a bit,try phone sex,sending gifts and using technology like webcam and pictures ,calls and things,its not easy to keep up with a long distance relationship,but you guys don't wanna be strangers once again after couple of month on ur first encounter huh?

I would definitely not email him. Chasing and begging never works. Trust me. I tried it and all it does is just push that person farther away from you. It saids that you haven't talked to him in months, expect for that letter, which I am assuming you poured your heart to him? Big mistake because now he has the control over the situation. He knows that whatever happens out there, if he doesn't see anyone he likes or finally had his fun, he could always come back to you.

You want to be the one in control. I don't know if you heard about "no contact"?

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Above is the link that describes it very in detail. I would try this first to see how it goes. Go out. Have fun with your friends and don't get caught up on what he is doing, it's summer. Maybe you won't see him everyday of the summer but I'm sure you guys might bump into each other. Don't be rude just casual conversation. Hey, what's up and that's about it. Keep it short and always be the person to end it. Once he starts realizing that you are not a spare tire, one who he could always come back at any time, he'll start to think about the decision.

Whatever you do try not to talk about you guys in the past, it will only hurt all the work you put in before. Try that, see how it works. Hope it helps. Remember it's summer, go out there and just enjoy it.

I'm quiet new here or perhaps it's just because I am older than most posters. Everyone seems to think that communicating their want or love for someone is done via texting or mailing or phone.

If the other person is unsure about you, by emailing or txting you give them a chance to think twice and you don't even get a chance at all to really sell yourself to the person!

I've always played it like this, get the person somewhere where you can talk, ideally arrange it even so that you just happen to be there at the same time, a party for example, or campus and you're having a break while he's having his break.

And the fact is, you shouldn't even do it in 1 go. The first step is to taste what it's like, what you can and can not do and you go away so next time you can better prepare!

And go make your move, use the sense of smell, touch and words and see how it goes! If you're a girl, seduce the guy with your assets, talk softly so you can make him lean in to you, if you have a chance to hang on to his hand hold on. There are so many books on seduction techniques, read!

Just don't seduce yourself into the booty call girl/guy of course.