So I'll be the first to say that the word "love" is overrated. Just because you say the words doesn't really mean much, it's how you express love that matter. I was just wondering something.how do people lose feelings for another person. I mean this relates dirsctly to my situation. My boyfriend left me a week ago because quote he "just didn't feel it anymore" he says he doesn't know why and right now tinks he'll never feel "it" again. He also believes that the word "love" is overated and one day we had a bit of an arguement and he asked why I was with him. I did sumthing I thought I wouldnt, I said "well because I love you" He said that telling someone you love them yes is important but didn't feel as tho he had to say the words to me, I understood I just wanted him to know why I stayed with him. So here's my question really, why do you think he's feelings for me up and vanished? The last few months we barely saw eachother, he has a summer job at a mining company which takes up most of his time, do you think that could have contributed to it? He also has a very close bond to his parents, and everyother year they take a trip to their birth country, tho because of his job he couldn't go with them this summer.could this have also affected our relationship and his feelings for me? He said he began to feel this way around the time they left. Do you think that once his life goes back to normal (i.e. parents come home, summer job is over) he will maybe have renewed feelings for me? I plan to not initate contact with him for awhile, I want him to miss me and see he made a mistake by ending it. He says he still cares immensely for me, just not enough to be in a relationship.so after reading all this do you think we have a shot of ever getting back together? Because I care for him more than anything else in this world and I just want him back :(
Update: Our relationship was also entering the comfort stage as some call it. Therefore it was quite serious. I know he has some commitment fears. Perhaps he got the feeling of comfort and the feeling of falling in "love" confused.
2 months ago
Update: maybe his feeling just stopped growing as opposed to vanishing, and he got that confused. I think the idea that we were becoming more serious scared him.
2 months ago
Update: sorry I meant. "falling OUT of "love" confused"
2 months ago
Love never goes away in my opinion. It only changes. Instead of being in love with someone you can have love for someone. Things can plateau as well in relationships which can hurt them. The trick to lasting love is to do little things here and there and never forget that the other person is special. Relationships are not easy. They require effort, compromise and balance. Give and take. Anyhow, if the balance is out of whack then that's when problems occur. Don't get me wrong, you will have some low points. But what truly matters is if the couple can make it through the rough times. Men can be pretty sensitive, so much so that they don't always realize what they are doing or why they are doing it. It seems that he's pretty stressed right now. I would say let him know that you still love him. That way you know you gave it a shot. Let him know that you understand things are a bit stressful and you understand he may need some time. Then back off and see what he does. We can't make people love us and it's hard when they don't feel the same way we do. Good luck. All we can do is do our best and not live in regret. I think not letting him know will leave you questioning "What if I had tried a little more?"
He knows that I still love him and also knows that ill always be there for him. I know he still cares for me, he told me so and even took me out to dinner for my bday 5 days after our break up, so that says something about his feelings. We've now begun our break from eachother, I plan not to initate contact (ony once on his bday) till he does, because then I know he's ready. Thanks for your input, its really given me some clarity and its really appreciated - 2 months ago
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