I'm not over my ex lover/friend of a year ago, and I still dream of him CONSTANTLY. in september I had a premonition that he'd break his leg, and sadly it came true month ago. isn't him a get well card. what can I do to try and move on? he was my best friend, and because of our life situations we couldn't be boyfriend and g/f. I left him because he told me he loved me for the 2nd time (only this time not drunk) and I ignored him- which hurt him. I talked to him again in september and not since. I feel lost and I don't know who I am anymore. he is haunting my thoughts and dreams.
He "haunts" you because you know he was the right one. But, I can tell by what you said that you are not interested in the right one right now. You want to have life experiences before you settle down. I commend you for it, because you're taking the path that is hard for people to admit they need first before they settle down.
The only thing that will help is letting time continue. I understand that a year is a long time, but maybe it will take a while for you to get him of your mind. You just need to accept the challenge.
Don't contact him, that's the right thing. If later in life, you run into him again, and you guys are ready for a committed relationship, you can give it a shot then. But don't stay in contact, just keep going on your path. You'll be better for it.
If you continue to pursue any sort of relationship, be it a "loving" one or just a friendship, you will continue to run into heartbreak on both ends, as there will always be the false hope that something more serious and long term will develop. On that front, you are doing fine since you have not talked to him since September.
Getting him out of your thoughts is a different battle altogether. If there are any glaring loose ends in your relationship, those need to be taken care of first. Be careful as he might see this as you beginning to love him. I think the key though, and I wouldn't normally suggest this as a primary fix for any predicament, is getting someone new in your life. I'm not saying you should necessarily go out and search 24/7 for that dream boyfriend, because if you do that, you probably won't find him. But you should bring some friends or potential friends closer into your life. Interact with new people. Get to know yourself a little better and realize that you don't need this guy on your mind for you to be a successful and wonderful person.
This is what I hate about relationships, if it doesn't go to marriage or long term then someone gets hurt, and with the fast moving lifestyles of people, this seems to happen a lot more now, try to patch things up, hang out but just as friends, you never know things may work there way back to the way they were, just tell him you want to be friends again, and tell him you aren't looking for love just a friend.
so it's been 3 weeks since my ex and I have talked. I only say he's my ex because he's never tried to contact me since our argument weeks ago....
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I had an exlover who was more of a friend than anything else. the sex sort of interfered, even though we were in love with each other, our lives were...
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
For me the first date is about getting to know the other person. I prefer a quiet venue, a place like a coffee shop or a dignified restaurant.
I dress well on first dates, wearing a nice shirt and jacket, sometimes with matching slacks, other times with jeans.
The date ends with a hug or a kiss (or both); I want to connect emotionally before going further.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
She will know that I'm funny, smart, and interesting. She will know a little about my career, my family, and my life, without too much information (to be boring or overly personal) being given on any subject.
She will also know that I'm a good listener, someone who has an interest in what she has to say (provided that it isn't boring or creepy!)
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