I moved from my home to be with the man I was going to marry. We had written and called each other for 2 years and I had come down an visited him a couple times. You see we had dated 13 years ago but we broke up after a few months because I felt he was too young for me. He is 22 years younger than me. I just want to explain that I do not look my age. I am a very beautiful woman and I look about 35 most people tell me. after the first time we broke up I moved back home 1400 miles away and we didn't see each other for 10 years. In those 10 years he got into some trouble with the law and was in prison for 7 of those years. When I came down to visit one time I went to see his mom and she told me he was in jail. Let me stop for a minute and tell you that he was a very sweet, caring and good person because I don't want you to get the wrong idea about him from the start Anyway I went to the jail to see him. He came out and he was so shocked to see me and the instant attraction came flooding back for both of us. We talked for about 15 minutes and then I left but while I was in town I sent him my address and some stamps and envelopes. Well, anyway we started writing and after about 6 months he asked me to marry him. I didn't really take him seriously for another year and I didn't answer that question until one time I came down to visit again and I stopped by to see his mom and she wanted me to read a letter he had wrote to her and in the letter he said it had never occurred to him to ask anyone to marry him before until me and that he really loved me. It was at that point I believed him because he would have never known that I would read that letter About 6 months later he got out and we got married. We were very happy at first but then 4 months later I had to go visit my father who was dying and I was gone for 10 days. When I came home he met me at the airport with his brother and they were both messed up on something and he acted very different ( cocky, distant) So then we started arguing because he wanted to hang out with his brother and the old crowd and I didn't want him to get in anymore trouble.He and his brother took that as controlling and I admit I was jealous of him a lot too because he is an attractive man and built very well. We argued for months and finally I kicked him out. After that he was out drinking and drugging and doing all kinds of crazy things and he was out driving and going 100 miles an hour and got into a serious accident and a girl was almost killed. He went to jail and when I went to see him I was not on the visitation list and I tried to write him and he wouldn't write . I heard he got out last week and he still has not contacted me. I am in so much pain because I don't know what to do or how to see him. because his family or friends will not tell me where he is.I need to know what he wants to do because I love him very much and we are married. so I would like to try and work it out. What can I do? Please help asap.
You are married to a self-destructive person. He wants to do what he wants, and he doesn't care what anyone else has to say. As his wife, asking him to stop taking drugs is not a unreasonable request, and if he can't honor that, then he has no honor at all.
My experience with ex-cons is not great. I've met some that do that do the right thing, but for every one of those I meet six that never learn.
I'm sure it's not easy, but file for divorce, cause he's made up his mind. He's not going to change, he wants to be who he is, and he doesn't care that he has a wife. It's clear he feels no obligation to the words he promised, or simply to you period.
I don't see what you are fighting for. He uses drugs, has been to jail at least twice for a sizable amount of time, and he doesn't want to talk to you.
Leave him alone and be grateful that he didn't get you mixed up in something that you would have to serve time for.
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