Okay so my ex boyfriend broke up with me a couple months ago. We dated for a year and half. Only a month and a bit before we broke up we professed our love to each other for the first time, which he initiated. He also told me that after his first girlfriend he didn't think it was possible to fall in love again, but to his surprise he fell in love with me. I thought we were really making progress in our relationship. I think we broke up because of lack of communication and therefore not fulfilling each other's full needs, but we were on our way there. We both cried and were very upset about the break up.
I will also admit that I got upset at times when we couldn't see each other. I think it may have made him feel bad. My friends felt as if it was fair of me to be upset when he couldn't see me. SOMETIMES it felt like he didn't have the urge to see me.
I will also mention he was recently stressed out trying to get into school and he had lost his grandparents and 2 pets in a short period of time.
I was just wondering if anybody has any thoughts on why our relationship ended when we were beginning to understand each other a bit more.
Also, if anyone can give me some advice on what to do differently next time, that would be helpful.
Update: This may factor in as well, he was moving in to a different house in a different city. Approximately 40 min away. When I asked him if that was one of the reasons for the break-up he told me it wasn't because we have made long-distance work before.
3 months ago
Lack of communications is a big part of couples having disconnects. Being on the same page at all times is important. When you were upset at the times you couldn't see him, did you talk to him about this? Did you define your wants and what you expected from him? Isn't that what being in a relationship is all about? Being able to tell your partner what's on your mind and work out the disconnects?
We both had agreed we needed to communicate more. When I couldn't see him I told him I was upset, but there were also times where I lied and said I wasn't angry (reverse psychology sort of thing). He knew I was lying and would tell me to talk to him. So I told him "every time I talk to you about it you say your sorry", but no action is generally taken. I was getting kind of frustrated, which got the best of me I guess. And every time I spoke to him about it I felt like I was nagging. - 3 months ago
Well he probably still has feelings for you. He most likely cut it off because of all the stress he has at the moment, and you were getting upset with not seeing him and that was adding to his stress. To do better next time, don't be needy while he has a lot more to worry about.
Death of a pet and grandparents can for sure put a strain on a relationship. I'm sorry you had to go through that. He may just need some space. The only way to know for sure is to ask him the reasons.
Yeah they were difficult times and I made sure I was there for him when he was going through it. About asking him the reasons, well it has been 2 months now and we have only spoken about 3 times. I would feel a little awkward initiating contact with him. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Some people need their space in times of tragedy even though their loved one is trying to be supportive. - 3 months ago
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
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