A friend of mine started liking this girl the same time I did. He was vocal about it and I wasn't. She ended up liking me back and we started off holding hands when no one was looking. Then we'd meet up and go out, and kiss etc. Well flash forward 3 months, we've been dating, going on trips together, movies, beach, dinner, sleep overs, all the works. We were secretly dating at first, then it sorta came to life and everyone knew. We have a gay friend that likes me and is upset that we're together. Plus the guy that liked her was mad that we're together. She was upset with this but it didn't seem to stop her from wanting to be with me. The semester started and its back to college for both of us (we go to different ones). The week of, she came to my house and I decided to bring up (in a nice way) a topic that has been secretly bugging me for a week or so. She never compliments, confesses or hints she likes me (i.e. "I like you"), doesn't look to have conversations with me anymore, doesn't want to see me during the week anymore (over the summer we spoke/saw each other every other day), Yet when I do see her she hugs/kisses me & seems to care about me. I know school might have some part of it. I know making time for studying is part of it. I know possible stress can be associated with it. However something else happened too which is the icing on the cake. I said "so, now that everyone knows about us, what would you think if I started telling people that you were my girlfriend and not just my "friend". She said "I don't know, It would be kind of weird" I laughed and said "why so?" and she replied "because I'm not your girlfriend." I said "wait what? what the hell are we then?" and she said "I don't know. we're confused". I didn't know what to say. She spoke up again saying "I just don't want a relationship now". I didn't know if she was breaking up with me or not. She then said "I mean, do you REALLY want us to define what we are?" and I said "I don't know". Then we made out for a bit she went home, I saw her the next day and slept over her house (we don't have sex). Woke up as though everything was normal. I went home, and I thought about it and didn't call her, text her, email her, nothing for three days. She didn't bother contacting me back. Somehow I ended up seeing her again for a few hours and we kissed/hugged. Its now been two days since I spoke to her. I don't get it. Does she like me or not? Should I call it quits? Could it be she just wants to be with other guys now that school has started? - keeping her options open? She's a sort-of modest girl, quiet, and just simply doesn't talk about our "relationship" at all. It's really bothering me. I like her, but I don't want to wait for her to dump me for someone else.
Hmm, unfortunately I just went thru this same ordeal. As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I have to tell ya that this don't look good. She flat out told you that a relationship is not what she's wanting. Now, whether or not this is code for, ' I just want to use you for when it's convienent for me' or ' I don't want a relationship with you' . you don't know and you could speculate ALL day. Either way, cut your losses. and quick! Seems like you did want to define the relationship and she cut you down immediately, no good. Honestly, stress and school and whatever else is going on in her life is not the reason this isn't working. Sorry, to be so blunt but this hits really close to home for me as well. So, if I can prevent you from stressing another sleepless night over this crap, I will. ** As a favor to this girl (and redeeming the male species as a whole), be man enough to tell her in person and at the VERY least. call her. ~Hope this helped~
She probably cares for you and like to kiss/hug you when she sees you. She made it clear she's not looking for a relationship. I don't think she can really dump you if you aren't in a relationship. Cut your losses. She's not coming around anytime soon. Whatever you have right now is one sided, you're doing all the contact.
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
asked Yesterday
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