I've posted several questions about my break up.but in short, it happened about 7 weeks ago. He says he loves me, but doesn't think we get along well enough. Well, we work together (hes my boss) and this Wed-Monday, he went to the beach with his family. When he got back, I saw him on IM and asked how his trip was.he said good and also said that it was weird without me there and it was lonely and he missed me. Well, today was the first day I saw him since last Tuesday.and for some reason, I got emotional at work and cried. He came in and asked if I wanted to talk or needed a hug, but I said no, that I was ok. Well, like an idiot (keep in mind I did the begging thing for about 5 weeks after the break up), I sent him a text message asking if we could talk. He was on his way into his b-ball game and said he'd write when he was done. Well, by the time her wrote back, I wasn't emotional (so much) anymore.and realized I shouldn't beg anymore.so I just said "it's ok, nevermind.I'll cu tomorrow".well, to make a long story.well, shortER.I told him that seeing him every day was hard and heartbreaking.and he said "I am glad to see you. In a way, it's a way of not letting go" I said "Don't you want to let go though?" and he said "I don't want to let go, but we don't get along the way a couple should." "It's hard because love isn't the problem". So, I guess I am trying to determine what that means.clearly I believe he still loves me.but if jealousy (on my part) and communication issues are the problem, why isn't he willing to work those things out?
It sounds like you've both got a lot of growingto do before you can be in a good relationship. Don't date your boss. Seriously. Don't date your boss! Find someone else's boss to date.
Honestly though, it sounds like your boss doesn't want you and is letting you down easy. Give up on it and find someone else.
sounds identical to my breakup less the dating the boss thing.she is my co worker. we still love each other alot, we have great sex, and the friendship was amazing.in short it "should have worked" but it simply did not, so love was not the problem. the problem was it simply did not work due to individual issues we both have and not truly communicating EXACTLY what we expect out of a relationship in the begining, assuming since it felt so right that it indeed was. the fact is TIME will heal everything, and anything, believe me. couples rarely get back together and IF they do it rarely works.BOTH parties need to want it, and it is only you that wants it and I would assume if your like me, it is for the wrong reasons and you aren't bein glogical with yourself. good luck girl, there are plenty of fish out there
both of you need to work on it ,but if he keep saying that its not gonna work between you guy's try to move on and let it go , because maybe he want sum kind of friend with benfits and that's it , talk to him and he need to make his mind about you ,
Yes...he has told me specifically what the problems are. I'm trying to work on them...but like I said, its only been a few weeks and things don't change that quickly. It is also slightly difficult being that I have to see him every day. I think working together had a lot to do with our fighting, so STAYING there doesn't really help. I've been looking for another job, but as you know the job market sucks. He thinks we "handle" things differently and it causes conflict. He's laid back..I'm not. - 2 months ago
Answerer
The only thing I can suggest is to be patient and change yourself to how he wants you to be. There's not guarantee the relationship will work even then, but if it's what you want, then you need to try. Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. - 2 months ago
He's right. HIS love isn't the problem. The thing with jealousy is that it can only be worked on by the individual. It's difficult to be in a relationship where jealousy rears it's ugly head all the time. He loves you but he realizes that you lack self esteem. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves. Jealousy and low self esteem come hand in hand. If you are getting jealous a lot, chances are you act like you don't trust him. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you don't have trust. I would say work on your self love and self esteem and see what happens down the road. Who knows, you may get together again. Remember, you have to love and trust yourself before you can do that with another person.
Hi Jeanette, relationship can be a pain somtimes. I know its harder on you since you have fall in love with your boss, honestly I think you shouldn't have get yourself in a situation like this especially if the man has a family. But anyway you already in it and trying to resolve it is your way out. I think that this guy is playing with your life because if he really loves you like he says he would have definitely broke up with his wife or would have at least mentioned how are you going to be introduced to his kids by now. He's not willing to work things out for the simple reason that it was not love that he felt but lust. My advise for you is to try to put things straight on the table, discuss and make sure you end up with a wise decision. If you feel that he's only hurting you and prefer to stay with his wife. let him go. believe me God will give you the desires of your heart someone worth being with. someone that you don't have to share, that's gonna care for you, be there anytime you need him. Think about it.
NO NO NO...lol....there's no wife or family in this picture. He is 35 and single...actually his "family" that works with us is his mom and dad and sister....I'm sorry., I don't think I said that the right way..hehe! No, he's SINGLE...never been married...haha! - 2 months ago
I don't understand why men say that. "we fight too much, and I can take the hurt anymore.i will always love you though". What the hell! If you will always love me then fight for that love and together we can work on things. I really think the only way to have a real cahnce with him is to work on those issues. And don't comunicate anymore than you have to until you are "cured" of the issues he is speaking about. Then, once your done with that.ask him to grab lunch or something short. Let him see how wonderful you are, and what he is missing. I know it must be hard since you two work together.but you have more opportunities to show him that you are doing way better. My ex told me he will always love me, that he thought we were soulmates, etc but also says he can't see us being anything more than friends due to the fighting. Your ex is pretty much telling you the same thing. I am still trying to beg him to comeback (without the actual begging) and it has caused us to fight more. In fact, we had a spat yesterday where I told him I was done trying to be friends with him because he is treating me like crap. So what is he thinking now? Damn.i guess she is moving on. Will it work? I dunno. The point is you are too available for him. Somehow, make yourself unavailable.for now. While you learn about yourself. Good Luck :)
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